Sunday, April 24, 2005

No clever title for this one...

Weird happening of the day: One of the gals I work with had come to church early and sat in on the Primary before us. The gal teaching the lesson used the ol' knot in the string idea to help the children there understand this mortal life and yada yada yada. Later I walk in to set up our Primary and she is telling me about this very interesting way of explaining time, life, immortality, etc. and there you go... "Have you ever heard of it as a knot in the string?" I had to chuckle a bit. Yeah. Pretty cool.

Church was pretty great today. A new family, all of the new family, gave talks. Even the 7 year old talked! It was really fun for a Sacrament Meeting. The the entire family sang together and Dad finished up the schedule. Pretty cool.

Something that occurred during Sacrament meeting prompted me to leave. Here is this beautiful and seemingly perfect family all singing together and pretty much filling the room with a sweet Spirit. I notice a sister leaving with tears in her eyes. Normally you could just say, "o.k." and leave it at that. But I know this sister and I know of her situation and I know why she left. She did not cause a scene in any way and I doubt that anyone besides my self even noticed her leaving. I waited until the verse was ended and then I too slipped out. I found her in the hall overwhelmed with emotion. Her circumstances are such that sometimes when she sees the "happy complete family" it stings just a bit.

Years ago I had a friend whose husband was not a member. He was very supportive, but she knew he would never join, or if he did it would be a long time off. She attended every meeting and social without fail, and with out her better half. Her kids had long left for their own families and now here she was every week, alone. Alone in a church of families. Alone in a place that stresses happiness dependent upon eternal covenants and companionship. And there she was, without hope. She described it to me like always being an invited guest to the country club, but knowing you can never join in on your own.

Well intended folks would inquire where her husband was, how he was doing, and always invite her to join with their families at dinners, socials and during meetings at church. As the ward grew, new folks would move in and seeing her always alone, assume she was single. Replies to questions and concerns were always polite and between smiling lips, but in her eyes we all began to see the sadness.

She missed the fall social, and then the Thanksgiving Toy Drive, and by the time the Christmas Party came she had found reasons to be "too busy to attend this time." By the following summer she was missing all the meetings and eventually quit coming at all. I spoke with her from time to time, we were friends for heaven's sake! There were lots of us who went to lunch with her and plead with her to come to "homemaking, if nothing else." She would politely refuse and one day she explained to us after a matinée, "It just hurt too much to constantly be reminded of what I will never have. I can't do it anymore." They put the house up for sale about two years later and they moved. The letters and cards were always returned unopened. I wonder about her to this day.

People tend to judge their futures by their past. Because I lost one friend I fear I will lose another. All I could do today was give her a hug and whisper to her that I understood how hard it was. I admire this woman more than I can write. She is amazing and strong and smart. She is always responsible in her calling, and will do anything for anyone. She is always in leadership positions and her children have been or will be sealed in the temple. She is constant and she attends the temple regularly. She is a beaming light shining to the Young Women, and an example to their moms. She is funny, witty, charming, and willing.

But she never comes to the socials.

add to sk*rt

No comments: