Apostasy Comes Stealthily

I remember when I was young our mother taught us many useful things. One particular lesson was to "Bloom where you were planted". Something s in our life will never be in our control, so we need to control our reactions to those unsettling events and make the best of them. After all, we never know how life will turn out until the end.

I took it to heart, as did my siblings. Sure, we get bummed when we have things planned out and then life throws you a curve, but for the most part we have tried to live by those lessons learned long ago.

I recently met with an older couple for an afternoon and during the visit listened as the wife rehearsed her dissatisfaction at being "displaced" from one house of worship to another. The religion hasn't changed. Her location has; and it is actually more convenient for them. This is something that she should have understood would happen(being a member for over fourty years), this is the way of things in the church. Growth causes change and change is always growth.

Back in the day I was always taught that God places you in certain paths until you no longer are needed there, or until you have learned what you can from the experience. "Bad" things, tests, trials and the like are not negative in reality, but opportunities for growth and development.

This woman earned a great reputation as a teacher. She could pick up a manual or topic assignment and then give a great application to her students. She found creative ways to motivate and enrich. Then one day she was released from her duty.

Instead of thinking of it as a great opportunity -as she had taught us to- she became embittered towards her leadership and towards the poor innocent person who was chosen to take her position. She looked at it as a "replacement" as a "undeserved demotion" as and adversary who had come"unworthily and unqualified" to "ruin" the position and all who would be involved. Her reaction to this change was to run away. She convinced herself and her husband that she was "sick" and stayed home that first week. That first week led to a second and then a third and she has been "sick" every weekend for almost two years. Now that she has discovered that their boundaries will place them in a new building, she is outraged. Now, instead of feigning illness on the week end, she is "protesting" and refuses to attend.

My question to her was "Will your lack of attendance change the situation?" She didn't answer with words but with a face of indignation; she knew the she had no power to change the situation, but still she is bucking the system.

Instead of accepting that she had served well, and that a younger, non experienced teacher was now learning to become a gifted teacher, she quit the team, she took her toys and went home. This woman, who could have been a great mentor to the new teacher, instead became selfish. Did it change the situation? No. It just took her down the road to apostasy as subtly as that alligator in the swamp waiting for the perfect moment to snap down an antelope at the water's edge.

If you asked she or her husband if she were inactive she would reply "No, I am just sick on the weekend." If you proposed the idea that she were apostate, she would be shocked to be classified as such. But in reality, she doesn't accept the authority that has changed the situations in her life, she feels she knows more than those who have been called to represent God, and feels she knows better than God and His will for her. She is defiant and when asked about whether these in authority are called of God, she mocks them and breaks sacred covenants in the process. It's sad.

I try to have some introspection within my own life to see the areas that I choose to put on that road to apostasy. Where do I dig in? Who do I mock? Who do I see as unfit for the Kingdom? Do I pick and choose whom has authority and who does not according to my preferences? Do I feign illness or create situations that cause me to withdraw myself from certain activities that I don't care for? Do I become hurt or offended because I have been released or called to a position I don't really want?

I am struggling with these issues. Wanting to help the woman I write about, yet turning to the mirror and hoping I can more effectively change that woman. I pray I can have influence on both.

Extreme Makeover...

Wow. Today was great. Church had some really awesome lessons, the best one, I think, in Relief Society. The Extreme Makeover.

The teacher opened with three different Top Ten lists on New Year's Resolutions. One from the city of Brotherly Love, Philadelphia. Their top resolution? Spend more time with family; followed by the usual stuff, lose weight, quit smoking, fix the house up, etc. The second list mentioned many of the same items, and the third made me sit up and take notice. It began...

#1. Never again see someone cold, hungry, or without hope. Find a way to help these people before you leave their presence.

Let me tell you, I heard the Spirit very distinctly and I knew before the day was out one person I knew of would not be cold or hungry again this winter.

The teacher pointed out that all of these resolutions were great, some even admirable, and that a lot of them were very predictable. How do I rid myself of having to repeat the same resolution again, or in other words, How can I finally achieve all this, and have it stick?

She brought out a Barbie doll. We'd all like to be like Barbie. Thin, fit, great job, pretty smile, nice house, fast car and liked by everyone. But how do we get there? Dr. Hollywood. Dr. Hollywood comes along and we can pay him thousands of dollars to Nip and Tuck, Make us the Biggest Loser, and/or give us the Extreme Makeover.

First up, Lasik Eye Surgery to see more clearly. She asked us to think in the terms of the Saviour who advised us to pull the beam from our own eye before we set out to pluck the mote from our [sister's] eye. Good advice. Seeing other folks as the Lord sees them would indeed give us an eye lift that would make us feel better about who looks back at us when we look in the mirror. Spiritual clarity when looking at the world would help us in all kinds of ways!

Dr. Hollywood would charge $3,500, The Lord asks us to be obedient to His laws and Commandments, and to donate 10% of our earnings.

Next, Rhinoplasty. The perfect nose! Again, she helped us see that the Lord asks us to keep our nose out of other people's business, into good books, and to the grindstone. This would make anyone's nose more attractive.

Luscious full lips are all the rage right now. The stores are full of chemical enhancers called lip venom that, when applied, will swell the lips into the desired plump kissable mouth we all want. We can pay Dr. Hollywood $20.00 for lip venom, or thousands for collagen implants; or we can do as the Lord has asked and speak kind words, avoid speaking ill of others, never lying or stretching the truth, and finding ways to lift someone else will lift us as well. Again, it costs 10% and obedience.

She went on to talk about saggy necks that could be lifted surgically or doing facial exercises like smiling and keeping our head high as we go through trials. That tummy tuck or perhaps fasting and donating the money spent on two skipped meals to those who have nothing to eat. Gastric By-Pass or perhaps following the Lord's diet of healthy foods that are fresh, and good exercise. Following the Lord's plan adds a bonus of a healthier mind and Spirit too, for no extra cost. Angioplasty to unblock a clogged artery or maybe acts of love to open up our heart? Flabby underarms could be liposucked or perhaps wrapping those same arms around someone alone or frightened or lost would be more beneficial in the long run.

The lesson had many illustrations for a complete head to toe makeover that would be so much better for us in the long run, because it would strengthen our Spirit as well as our body. No money involved, just commitment to the Lord and following His example and commandments.

It was a fun, motivating and Spiritual lesson. I am so glad she taught it. It was really a good day.

With our own mouth, we are digging our pit.

In our little end of the flock we are experiencing quite a surge of angst against those who are in authority, meaning pretty much if you are in a leadership position currently you are questioned, challenged, unappreciated, and mostly disrespected for the way in which you choose to fulfill you calling. This is from the Bishop on down to specific teachers and auxiliary leaders. (In all actuality, if you are in our ward -you are fair game.)I was mostly unaware of this situation, thinking it was pretty much focused at me as a Primary President, I was wrong.

As a Primary President we had an interesting situation at best. When I was called, the primary then was barely functioning. I was serving in the Stake as an interpreter serving in another ward, so I was unfamiliar with the goings on in our ward and as I took over I was immediately congratulated, praised, and warned that the former President had led the Primary into literal destruction. I was smart enough to know that people talk and most of the time they are just venting. The former President, if truth be told, had an overwhelming job, with little or no support and did what she could with what she had. The teachers also had been over worked and under thanked and were on their last legs.

I took over and did my best to bring the Primary back to semi-normalcy, although even after 2+ years, "my" Primary wasn't running on all cylinders either. I left without a firm Scouting Program, a struggling Faith in God Program for girls, and only one annual Activity Day. But I could look back on my time and I felt I had accomplished a lot. Activity rose, we had a severe situation with reverence that had all but disappeared and with "my" Primary literally being close to 1/2 half Special Needs, we had things under control and the kids were feeling safe and loved. Not perfect, but definite progress.

That being said, I was approached each week I served. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a Sunday if the "weather" was bad. Someone had something negative or challenging to say about the ill functioning Primary. There were disappointments for someone and I got an earful of it every week. After a while it adds up and there are times when you wonder if any one at all notices the things you are doing correct. I spent many days crying, I prayed like never before and I struggled literally from day to day until I was released. Thor saw it as my 40+ hour a week job. It was one of the hardest tenures I have ever spent in a calling. Mainly due to lack of understanding that I was trying and working, but there are some things you must allow others to accomplish and if they fail, it fails. The Lord does not wish us to micro-manage and rule with an iron fist. It is a learning process for everyone.

This brought me into my new calling. After not attending Relief Society for several years (somewhere like 20 something!) I was called to be the Education/1st Counselor. I, after one month still don't have all the scheduling and specifics of the calling clear in my head, but again, I am trying. And again I am hearing the congratulations and warnings and complaints of those who were ahead of me in line and those with whom I work currently. It amazes me. I have been asked to be the new "saviour" and bring my co-workers to repentance and retribution!

As I have left the Primary and entered into the "adult world", I have noticed a few things within our ward. We have a terrific amount of anger towards one another and great skills at being "snarky" towards each other. If there is an open shot - we take it. If someone makes the tiniest of mistakes we make sure to point them out loud and clear. And over and again. If the Bishop or other leaders make a decision we disagree with, it doesn't matter if they have the keys of discernment or information we may not, we cause a stink about it; and then do what we think should be done on our own, disregarding the instructed course of action by the Bishop and/or leader. We split the players and go to war with words and deeds and tally up who was more "right" on the surface. When we are called and asked to discuss the quarrel or ill feelings, we feel picked on and after the talking and "resolve", we decide it is better to just go home and stay there for a few years until things change. In the meantime we can occupy our time with phone calls to gather others to our side and cause even greater dissent against the ill chosen few who are in charge.

Are we all 10 year olds? We cannot see past our own idea and think that perhaps the person in authority is or is not making a poor judgment, but it is not our place to become involved and that if their plan is or is not wrong, the Lord will indeed take care of it. We want in on every ward decision, all the planning, all the judgments, all the gossip. When it comes to following the council we are given, that is when we draw the line. We pick and choose whom we will and will not serve and sustain. We raise our hands to sustain, then at our first displeasure we face the accused and announce our withdrawal and support. We are casting stones and pebbles at every opportunity, and our aim is remarkable considering the huge beam in our eyes. We blame, pick fights, grab offence and horde ill, and we will not forgive; even when an apology has been humble and sincerely offered.

We want a fight. We want an excuse. We want to know everything that is private and none of our business. We want to pat ourselves on the back, we want the calling another has because we think we deserve it and would do a better job. We forget that everyone, including ourselves, is still learning. We forget the Lord makes calls, not man, nor person. We forget that leaders may not be perfect but they are worthy and have been set apart. Mainly and foremost, we forget that we made sacred covenants that restrict and forbid us to be pointing fingers and criticizing, gossiping and speaking ill of one another. We forget that repentance is extremely difficult and that some repairs are tremendous. We forget that we are all related via the Gospel of Christ.

Forget that old staement made by moms the world over, "Just wait until your father gets home..." If we wait until we get home to our Father, it will be too late. We are waisting time we do not have worrying about others instead of perfecting ourselves. We will be Home too soon and by then it will be too late to forgive and repair. The damage will have been done, and not to those horrid people who mess up the ward, but to ourselves.