weekend project

I got an e-mail from a friend of mine last week asking me if I could make a bouquet for a wedding taking place at her home this coming weekend. Luckily for me, the bride wanted silks. Thor and I will be gone three days before the wedding so fresh would have been a problem!

We went shopping Saturday afternoon and that night I went to work. I was surprised that the bouquet used all the stems we purchased, but it did! She requested all white flowers with a bit of green. There are two dozen roses, 16 large 8 buds, 5 stems of cascading blooms, and another five bunches of ivy.

I used the red and gold bud leaves as accent colour and to bring in a bit of the fall colours she plans, and also the deep green large leaves to poke out in the bouquet and also as a way of 'plating' the base and supporting the ivy bunches.

She wanted burgundy and metallic gold ribbon, and again, lucky for me I had a spool that was approved! She wanted a small "shoe lace" bow and braided stems, so I did that for her, although I forgot to get a shot of the braided stem.

They also requested a matching boutonniere so I used the same combination of flowers and greenery and there you go.

My friend liked them very much, I am hoping the bride does as well.

Check out Food Chronicles, I understand Robyn got a last minute call to prepare and decorate the cake. I can't wait to see what she does!

Womanhood. Enjoy to the end!

This was my weekend! We wanted it to be really special for the gals here! As one of our performers (Michelle) pointed out, we wanted the women to feel "set apart" from the world for a few moments, to feel needed, appreciated, loved and to celebrate the Relief Society birthday with a bang! Our dear performers did not disappoint! They embellished!

Womanhood, Enjoy to the End!

Ann Bailey, Michelle Walters, and Melanie Renstrom graciously traveled to our little hamlet in the desert and gave over 700 women, from 4 different stakes a terrific, inspiring, and at times hilarious show! It was so much fun to prepare for this event. It was over a year in the making, but we did it!

These women got together -much by fate and the hand of God- over 13 years ago. Together they decided to take a lighthearted and much needed musical roadshow to the women of the world to say "Enjoy!" Enjoy your life! Feel loved! Know you belong!

This program has a bit of everything. From the fast paced mommy numbers to the slower more moving song choices about enduring love and hope. Personal insights brought many to tears as we laughed together, and cried together, knowing not one of us is alone in our circumstances. We have each other and we have a loving Father in heaven. We all share a purpose that is more than just our 70 or 80 years on the planet. We all have the love of Jesus Christ. We are fortunate to have the Priesthood and programs that were designed by a Father who knows His daughters and wants them to be happy. We are blessed by friends, family and life circumstances. We have each other in times of trouble and joy.

If you would like these women to come to your area, their criteria is simple and FREE! Pop on over to their website and check it out. They were well worth the effort and time! ENJOY!

I got a problem.

Alrighty then. Perhaps we should just read this in the Church Lady voice and be done with it.

Today's subject: Sex.

(now, evidently,soon to be former) New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and US Girls.

First, the Governor. It's not surprise that a career politician, one who builds that career on "moral" standards, has been caught with a prostitute. It's not a surprise that our tax dollars were paying for all this $1000.00 per hour service. It's not a surprise that the spouse stands beside this politician and says they will work on the marriage. I understand there are marriages where this has happened and that, yes, it can be repaired, my point is that this man's act was for recreation, not an emotional outburst or momentary madness.

Why am I not surprised that this is being played out in t.v. and radio as a common "mistake". Last evening there was an L.A. radio host who said all this could be avoided if prostitution were legal. Really? This is the problem? Evidently. According to this host, men are men, and men need variety and will cheat if they don't get permission to do so. He states that no man should even think about marriage until he is well into his 30s, and then only if he has been with many many women. He even went so far as to suggest those women be from different cultures, countries, etc.... juuuuust to try all he can. Hmm.

It's true that this host felt sorry for the wife, the kids, but in reality they should have seen it coming and this, he explained, is why women always forgive the men who go off to prostitutes. It has nothing to do with intimacy, it's just sex. This, according to his program, was excuse enough. The whole "Boys will be boys!" rule.

Interesting. I married a man; not an animal. I am offended to think that people are just blithely sitting by without protesting this statement that all men are beasts, and will and should conduct themselves without control or self discipline.

The entire program, from I can tell by going back this morning and listening to sound bites, has to do with his agenda at getting prostitution legalized, after all Nevada has figured it out. Legalize it, monitor it, and everyone can be safe while breaking their vows.

One of his guests was a former Hollywood madam and she agreed with all he had to promote. Lovely.

Essentially, because it was with a prostitute, everyone should be o.k. with this. I'm not even talking about the tax money, the laws, the dignity that was destroyed because of this. Heck why should we bother with that? Why is no one bothered that a "leader" has once again broken the trust of the American people? Because we have come to expect it.

Then we have the new report that 1 in 4 girls aged 14 - 19 are infected with an STD. Is this alarming, or is this too, normal human behaviour? "We can't stop people from having sex, teens are gonna have sex!" That's the thinking, right? I have a lot of problems with this study.

I find the timing amazing. Consider all the controversy lately about vaccines. Darn those moms anyway! Now, just when we have a handle on another vaccine, all these moms are wiggin' out and wondering if they should just blindly go forth as we have been trained to do. Or, maybe we need to stop and think a minute about it. So out comes a scare tactic to reinforce the need for a vaccine.

Doesn't anyone wonder if this is another Thalidomide ? Does it concern anyone else that we are vaccinating girls during puberty? Does it occur to anyone that we don't have any concrete long term studies on how this will affect their reproductive health later? Back in the day "the pill" was a new thing, a "hope", for women every where because heck, we were gonna have sex anyway, right? It was a band aide that was supposed to put everyone at ease.

The problem is that it is just that, birth control, not pregnancy prevention. We still get pregnant, it's just the birth that has become controlled. Back in the day no one knew personally of a women who was actually considered "barren". It almost seemed biblical. No one heard of anyone going to get help with fertilization; that was rare. Now, swing a cat and hit a couple who have fertility issues. Could the fact that we all have succumbed to the chemical cures that we are forgetting to connect the dots?

It's easier to just take a pill, to get a vaccine, than to do what it takes to avoid things we are not ready for. So let's all march our young girls down and get them vaccinated against a preventable disease. Yes, preventable.

Another problem I have with this report is the "girls only" angle. Are these girls born with STD? No, and the study implies (rightly so) that they have had sex. But with other girls or were there boys involved as well? If so, then how many boys have STD? Why aren't we concerned about warning them? The answer they are giving us is, that with the boys, there is rarely physical evidence or signs, with girls there is. O.k., but still, shouldn't there be something said about both genders? Shouldn't we be worried about the boys too?

How about that "black girl" stat? I tell you, I'm not black and I am furious over this. Where were these studies taken? In large cities. Were there 50 white girls and 50 black girls studied and they found these stats from that data? Were the girls completely honest? There are too many variables. Maybe it's not even 1 out of 4 girls. Did they test girls from all kinds of families, neighborhoods, classes, races, religions, regions, etc. etc. etc? Or perhaps the control group they chose could bend the outcome. Anyone who has taken a high school math class can see how stats can be bent.

On a hot day, give every teen in a crowd their choice of Pepsi or Water. Count how many teens are wearing black shirts. Count how many kids in that crowd wearing black shirts choose the Pepsi. Chances are the conclusion can be drawn that teens who drink Pepsi have a tendency to wear black shirts. Black can be a sign of Goth or depressed behaviour, i.e. Pepsi causes depression in teens. Forget the fact that 99% of the teens in the high school across the street wear black as a "cool" colour choice and that most teens enjoy a soda on a hot day. Stats can be skewed.

I'm a little ticked here. Tell the world that 1/4th of all your girls are sleeping around and spreading disease. Scare the crap out of everyone. Don't worry about the future outcome, that's why we have lawyers. Assume your children are idiots and without self control. Have them punched up with chemicals to avoid a disease that can be avoided completely. Make some pharmaceutical companies some cold hard cash. What other choice do you have?

It's easy. Talk to your kids. Both genders. Tell them who they are. Tell them they are worth more. Tell them they deserve more. Tell them how and why to wait. Expect more. Trust them to do just that. Educate them with as much information as you can. Give them some credit for being more than animals.

Me and Dory

I remember being a (very) young bride; and life, it seemed, would never get around to happening for me. I felt then, and still do at times, that I had lived through a tumultuous childhood fraught with many trials that not one of my peers had. I was a bottom feeder, and I felt as though I would never see the top of the tank. Still, there was sibling love, remembrances of giggles and good times, and hope.

I was 18 and my new husband was a very old and wise 19. We moved into a small apartment in a bad neighborhood and thrived on the extra $12.00 a week we had after we paid all our bills. We kind of threw ourselves into the deep end and learned to swim with the currents. Tuna was 52cents a can then. I would measure the economy by that can of tuna for years. Anyone wanting to know our fiduciary skills could monitor it easily by checking out the counter in the kitchen. It would be 20+ years before we would splurge on paper towels.

Prior to our marriage Thor and I had long discussions on children, how many, how soon, how to rear, where to rear them, what kinds of discipline, even if they would share rooms or get a car at 16 if we had money enough. We made goals for home, education, work, and missions before we ever "walked down the aisle." One of those goals was to retire by age 40. We did the math and decided that we could do it.

Well, time goes by and the storms came and went. But you know, even with several years of absolutely no work (hello 80's recession) we were still 'vested' and eligible for retirement at age 42. Wisdom somehow comes with age (at least one hopes), and with that we changed gears and decided that in this new economy, tuna @ $3.49, we probably should continue working and bank more hours into the pension fund. "...just keep swimming!"

In a way it has proven to be a greater blessing than I had anticipated. In these later years Thor's job remained in the same field, but his duties and responsibilities changed. He was now working behind a desk, and often behind the wheel or in the air. He has been sent all over the US and Canada to learn and provide a better way of life for those in his company. He has had opportunities and experiences we never dreamed of. I have also.

As a little girl I could never have hoped for the blessings I have been given. For the trips with Thor to Alaska or Hawaii, to Washington and Washington D.C., to Las Vegas (which I am never really fond of, but I do enjoy being with Thor) and Monterey. Heck, up until 8 or so years ago I had never even considered getting on a plane!

I have met all different people and seen many different cities. I head for the 'sights' while Thor is stuck in a basement. At night we drive to see what the non-tourists do and where they live. I am always able to find interesting places and new things, even if I have been there before.

Tomorrow we head out again to Las Vegas. I will visit with some family and do a lot of room staying! I can catch up on some much needed reading and do a bit of photo shooting. I'll be sure to post the days finds.

I'm not really sure what this post is about other than the idea of sometimes life throws you into the deep end, you get chased by sharks, you ride the swells and surf the waves. As a child I learned so much more because of the 'breakers'. As an adult the 'waves' have also taught me, but they have also been terrific fun.

I have made it to the top of the tank many times during my life. For the most part I live among the kelp, in the middle, a little above and a little below. I just keep swimming.

In the end, looking back, my curvy little knot in the string, my swim in life's ocean, has been very blessed. I am pretty blessed.

A Venting Housewife Speaks

A few weeks back I was with a group of friends that I blog with over at Conversation. The evening went very well, and it was so nice to finally meet these incredible women and put a face to their words. However, at one point ,as I am want to do, I spewed forth my passionate opinion in a way that came off as a confused mess of words; more than likely not ones that expressed what I was really trying to say, but rather just words.

The subject was "feminism". A hot one for sure and one that I am indeed passionate about. I used to label myself as a feminist. Now I try not to label myself at all, because as I have grown older I realize that everything is black and white, but also shades of gray. (here comes that split personality...) It's is like the story of Les Miserables. Stealing is stealing and to take something that is not yours is wrong. But if you are starving and take a loaf of bread to survive it is much different than stealing a car just for the thrill of it. Black and white, shades of gray.

Feminism. S'mee has incredible problems living in a society that is considered to be the leader of the world in human rights, yet denies so many of these basic rights still. S'mee thinks all of the Congress, Senate and local leaders should "vacation" in the Ozarks for two weeks and live as the Mountain Folk do. Perhaps then we could get somewhere with medical aide, and social programs that would actually help. We have third world conditions within our own borders that seem to elude most of us. Have we not seen the mentally ill out on the street? Have we not witnessed the "not in my back yard" attitude that places more ill in neighborhoods that are to the brink already?

In 2005 how can the United States of America allow states to refuse entrance to country clubs due to religion and race and in some cases sex? However S'mee can understand the rights of refusal to allow entrance to religious buildings due to one's religion and adherence to its' particular laws. It's a conundrum.

S'mee is horrified at the reality of the situation of women in many countries around the world where women are not only devalued, but ignored as human beings. This is where the feminists should focus passions.

S'mee is angry that in some states in our blessed Union, women have lip service as far as their legal rights, but in reality men abuse their power and these same women are underpaid and worse. Case in point, S'mee's daughters having a more difficult time receiving grants, scholarships, and loans, due to their sex and marital status and lack of children.; while men and minorities with the exact same qualification as these young women are eligible for loans, aide, etc.. The U.S. and state governments encourage single women to have children out of wedlock in order to receive financial aide. (#3 was asked to get pregnant without marriage and #5 was told that "your mom needs to be dead and your dad needs to be in prison" before either would qualifiy for certain loans/aide. Both daughters have GPA's 3.9 and above and always have.) This is a "legal" way to oppress women.

S'mee agrees that there are true reasons to be and to label oneself as "feminist". However, S'mee feels it rediculous to label oneself as a feminist and then complain about the oppressions one places upon herself. If I allow you to oppress me, who's fault is it? If I choose to be abused, who is the abuser? I am not talking about women who find themselves in situations, marriages or countries where they have been lulled into abuse. S'mee has and continues to work with Domestic Violence Shelters and acknowledges the patterns of abuse that lead to psychological slavery. I am talking about making free and clear choices and then complaining about it when we could change it if we would. About allowing someone to demean me in my presence and not taking a stand to correct it.

S'mee gets angry at women who, through their "own free will and choice", have said "yes" to husband and children and then complain about their "burdens". Women who live in relative freedom to do as they wish, with husbands who work (either alone or along side of the same women) for the benefit of the family and then complain about their living conditions.

These same women gripe and complain about the silliest things, things which given a few years perspective will appear as just that - silly. Women who have been given challenges such as, "Change Diaper, gasp, make dinner, gasp, pay bills, gasp, doctors appointments, gasp, odd jobs to make ends meet, gasp, entertain 3 young’en, gasp, clean clean clean, gasp, ballet lessons, gasp, avoid punks, gasp, blog, gasp, practice piano, gasp, prepare sunday school lesson, gasp, panic, panic, gasp, gasp. Ahhhhh !!!!!!"1 ; they chose to receive, and then are upset because this is all they have to accomplish. You are the mom. You chose to be a mom. You can act like the mom. Moms have to teach right and wrong and keep the offspring alive and relatively healthy. (Mosiah 4:14-15) You can say "no" once in a while. No one said your kids had to do every thing they want; that food had to be this or that, trendy clothes, or to go to every party they are invited to; no one said the dishes couldn't wait an hour or two or even overnight. You don't have to beat yourself up trying to be the best in town, just the best you.

Did I miss something here? Did the woman who wrote this complaint live in a cave before she was drug -blindfolded, ear plugged, and gagged and forced at gunpoint into her situation, never knowing what was in store for her as a married mother of -gasp- 3 young'en? I think this and statements similar to it reflect the youth, inexperience and ignorance of the authors. Statements like the above make it sound as if this woman was not responsible for her consequences. Perhaps she could have written the following as an explanation. "I was so uneducated about American society and motherhood. I was unobservant as to what it meant to say "yes" to all this. I never noticed my own home life as a child or young adult, I never read a book, I never watched a movie or t.v. I was so self absorbed as a child/young woman that I actually thought married life would be different! I didn't realize that I myself stayed at home needing a mom for 18+ years. I don't know how to say to my husband, "I am pooped, I need help." I had no idea the lug that I married was this way before I chose to marry him. He changed and I stayed the same as I was in high school, pretty, slim, and sweet. I don't know how to communicate my needs and wants and I just take whatever is dished out. I want to complain because I was duped!"

S'mee is frantic with the "feminists" who attached themselves to any religion and then complain about its' statutes and laws. (This does not include women who have grown up in repressive societies where "religion" has been chosen for them, without free will.) Women who accept covenants and laws and receive gifts, keys, and blessings knowing the rewards/consequences and then complain at being uncomfortable with their choice. Women who stand united and raise their hands to sustain leaders and then complain about whom they "sustain". Women who do accept these things, then complain about them say to the world, "I was ignorant and made the choice without regard to the result. I went in blind and came out mad." The women who write these complaints seem educated and able to read, why have they chosen so wrongly? And, whose fault is their condition?

Women who vote for this leader or that and then complain while said leader is in office. Women who complain about the children of the world who are essentially slave labour in foreign countries, and workers of both genders who are enslaved in off shore companies and then turn around and shop at Banana Republic, Jones New York, Abercrombie and Fitch, and other "fine" manufacturers who do such practices as "good business". Women who shop Walmart because they want to pay less while others are being paid less due to their sex to work and maintain the store (and it's profit margin). Women who say they are feminists who really just are self-ists.

S'mee thinks most (not all) of these women have latched onto a cause in an effort to vent their self anger and blame someone else for their poor choices. Women who need validation from other "smart intelligent" women instead of finding their own worth. Women who, for some odd reason, can't feel their own worth because they are worried about the differences in biological functions. Women who buy into what they hear instead of searching it out for themselves, or who close their minds to the fact that they just might learn something later they don't understand now. Women who forget that there is always Someone smarter and that eventually all things will make sense; eventually can mean in a year or two, or eternally. Women who think they are as smart as they will ever be and no one else understands more than they. Women who by their own words say they are valued, but search out daily those who would demean them and devalue them. They feed upon the muck of the world instead of really making a difference. They gather together like geese, and snap at anyone who oppose them in view. Isn't that a main point of feminism? To allow each individual the right to think their own thoughts? Perhaps it only means you have the right to agree with me but not to disagree, or you are stupid, uneducated, or have your head in the sand. ( I know, I can hear you now. I have just said the same. But at least I am acknowledging I can be wrong.)

I propose feminism to be a doctrine advocating the social, political, and economic rights for women equal to those of men. If that means you are upset about your religion, leave it. If your boyfriend is a jerk don't marry him. If your husband demeans you, correct him. If you don't want to be a mom, don't become pregnant in the first place. If anyone abuses or demeans you, don't put up with it, do something meaningful to change that. Use your votes in ways that matter. Work for the things that will matter in the long run. Do not accept lower wages for the same quality work and do not support merchants who do. Stop shopping without researching where and how it came into that store. Stop worrying about being the same as your neighbors, you're not and you never will be. Stop killing yourself trying to be what others want you to be. Find your own value and build your relationship with God. Stop mocking sacred things you do not yet have a full understanding of.

If I say that I am XYZ then people who read me will assume, whether for good or ill, that all I say somehow reflects on XYZ. There is a responsibility I have to try to represent XYZ folk in a reasonable manner. If I then choose to ridicule XYZ folk, practices, or leaders that is also a reflection. I hope that what I choose to proclaim does not reflect poorly on that which I deem most high and of value, including my own sex.

Perhaps some of these women could re-label themselves, Venting Housewives, and it would be more appropriate.

1. quote taken from the blog "Feminist Mormon Housewives"

The BIG day!

Saturday: The BIG day! Last night there were several frantic calls to the seamstress, who was a doll and met me VERY early at her store and gave me the dresses. Whew! So after a good stream ironing job we left for the temple and had the day of a life time.

The bride and groom had a lovely sealing and, as always, I learned something new that I wish I had known early on. Oh well, better late than never I suppose. There were photo ops and more photos and eventually the photographer sent all but the new couple away. Mom of the bride chose to stay and help the photographer, so we separated at that point.

Thor gathered with the other siblings, spouses and a stray groom's man and we had a nice lunch together. It was a great feeling to see all the family together, although we were missing the Groom and his Bride, but that will happen at a later day. Jokes and teasing are always on the menu and so were good belly laughs. Lunch finished and we all drove to the reception site. Thor and I began the final prep. He dropped me off at the hall and then went in search of lost grandparents.

I met Chronicler and the Big Guy and she set out to make her famous tartlets. Pecan and fresh strawberry were requested by the bride and they were a huge hit (as always). The caterers were a tad snarky about having someone else's tarts among their treats, but after it was all said and done, one of them actually begged for the well kept secret recipe. (sorry guys, you can't be snarky all night then ask for a sure bet recipe to be just handed over. Even if you were really nice, chances of landing that small bit of info would be hard to come by.)

Food for the evening was catered and appreciated by most. However I have to admit I am picky and there is a difference in food that has been fresh cooked and prepared as opposed to reheating frozen prepared food from a good manufacturer. I am spoiled by Chronicler's fresh ingredients and cooking. That said there were choices of chicken, rice, a broccoli salad, fruit skewers, dipped strawberries, cream puffs and 600 of Chronicler's HANDMADE from scratch tartlets.

A D.J. and a live swing band were on hand to entertain and make the evening fun. Introductions of the bridal party began the festivities, followed by dancing and generalized merrimaking! S'mee enjoyed watching all her offspring dance and have a great time. We mingled with good friends and tried to make new ones. Lots of family members traveled to come and share the joy of the day. It was incredible to see one particular aunt, fresh from her chemo session, enjoying her night. What a compliment to us and a huge sacrifice for her. We were surely blessed.

Towards the evening's end there was a special dance dedicated to Thor's mom and dad and the celebration that night of not only the newlyweds, but the "oldie-weds", mom and dad's 56th wedding anniversary. The groom asked for a special song and the two couples joined together on the dance floor. Eventually Thor and I joined in and it was a great moment with the three generations all dancing to acknowledge this legacy of eternal marriage and the joys that come from it. Past, present, future. So cool. So beautiful.

The two little love birds headed out to start their lives together and the night spun slowly down to an end. It was a big day. A great big huge fat eternal day! : >

she's come undone....

O.k. So I made a trip up to Utah just to get my daughter's dress measurements and to alter her dress so that it fit correctly. A misunderstanding between she and S'mee led to the dress not being altered at all. AT the wedding she was the gal in the size to large periwinkle number. But she looked "o.k." : l We both thought the other didn't want it altered. UGH! Anywho that dress and the other sister's dress both needed 3 inches taken off the three (yes folks -3!) layers of hems.

S'mee had #5 pin her dress in hopes of altering the mother of the groom dress.

Actually the alterations on my dress went better than I had expected. I got a pretty good fit from the marking's #5 made and after a couple of goes it was as good as it could get. O.k. So then I have #3 mark it for hemline. When I purchased the dress it was made for a nice tall Norwegian, or perhaps an exceptional Amazonian woman. Either way this dress had, not only a very long "line" but an actual train! Not as long as a bride would have, but a definite train about 8 to 12 inches. Measuring the front and finding my toes would have been an easy way to determine how much to take off, but with a train she would have to go all the way around and find the floor measurement. Grrr. But #3 did a great job.

Monday"

S'mee made the marks on all three dresses for hems, and went in search of the proper needle and a rolled hemming foot. "CLOSED MONDAYS" Ugh! I need to wait for Tuesday.

Tuesday:

SO I purchase what I need. All of the sudden everything in the world falls apart and by the time I get around to sewing, things are put off for one more day.

Wednesday:

I started with my dress and after hemming the inside fabric (very nicely, thank you) I began on the outer layer. NOt for the life of me could I get that fabric to work. I tried it all, all the tricks I could think of, tissue didn't even help. The machine wasn't "eating" the fabric it was just shredding it. I used "fray check". NOPE. Nada. Zip. So I resorted to a very ugly hem and called it a day. We needed to be YM/YW and I had run out o' time!

Thursday.

Not wanting to shred the three layers of the bridal party dresses I decided to have them hemmed by a professional. HEMMED BY A PROFESSIONAL? Yikes, how the mighty have fallen. Hemmed. Are you kidding me? But I was disparate and so, yes, I succumbed and found an alterations seamstress.

"$35.00 each dress you want hurry coast you more money."

Forget that! What is it with the $70.00 alterations lately? Egads. I find another option and this seamstress is only asking $15.00. Oh joy! Oh rapture! I drop off the dresses and tell the gal I will pick them up tomorrow at 3:30. (She needs all day to fit in our "rush" - but who cares at this point?) She closes at 4:00. No problem! Friday at 3:30, plenty of time and I am happy and grateful and stress free! YES!

Thursday night: Meet down at the church to begin decorating!

Our Big Fat Wedding begins....

Dateline: Thursday night. Two days after the endowment - which went GREAT, so cool, so wonderful to see your kid in the temple, doing the right thing and ready to be doing it. What a blessing from Heavenly Father!

So it's Thursday and we are now in the exact middle. 2 days after the endowment and two days before the wedding/sealing! Mother of the Bride (K) is going into high gear and she has a plan. Unfortunately her plan was tilted a tad by a very unpleasant false ceiling gal and her crew. "K" had seen the ceiling lady's work many times before and was impressed. A billowing cloud full of twinkle lights was ordered and expected. Long story short, the ceiling expert was miffed because "K" wanted this material instead of that material and what she eventually got was a flat ceiling made of tulle. 61/2 hours for a flat tulle ceiling. Ridiculous. More than that, ceiling lady made such a fuss about it that she refused to work if anyone was in the room, so all the help "K" had organized had to be sent home without being able to help at all.

At 12:00 midnight "K" decided to pull the plug on the ceiling and call it. It was what it was and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Let's all go home. Hmmm. Where's the doohickey that closes and locks the door? (search search search) At 12:30 a phone call was made, a Bishop was awakened from his sleep, and by 1:00 the doohickey was found, building secured and all out and headed home.

8:00 Friday: Day before the wedding. 2 moms, one bride, and one little brother are able to meet and set up for the big party. 18 tables, 180 chairs, 4 buffet tables, 2 gift tables, one cake table, and one punch table are set up and dressed. All tables have white brocade table clothes. All 180 chairs are dressed with floor length tailored covers. The large tables with floor length clothes as well. A runner of periwinkle and celery plaid is placed on all tables, the seating tables topped with floral arrangements of hydrangea, orchids, and star lilies in clear glass vases. They sit atop a mirror with 6 small tea lights and cracked "glass" chips for colour. The larger tables have double sided ribbon swags with small wreaths at the centers and corners made of tiny hydrangea blossoms, green baby apples, and eucalyptus.

The stage was draped with white fabric to resemble a "water fall" with twinkling lights underneath, tulle fluffs along the top edge, again with lights, and a floral swag of hydrangea, green apples, and eucalyptus. Behind the fluff were draped stands that held 9 photos of the new couple interspersed with three cut crystal hurricane lamps with candles.

The cake and buffet tables had the same effect as the stage with the "white water fall". The cake table was dressed with a large silver cake plateau. The cake was 3 tier, extremely smooth whipped cream frosting, decorated with woven pearls strands and pearl points. In between the tiers were full sized fresh hydrangeas and the top was the bride's mother's cake top, a crystal blown glass heart with doves.

The Punch bowl were placed inside green apple wreaths.

The buffet was decorated with lighted food stands, topiaries of green apple, and fruit skewers. All the tables had tulle fluff and the cracked "glass chips" along with fine glitter sprinkled over all for shimmer, and were lit from underneath with special lights to create a pretty glow.

Back drops were made by the groom out of wrought iron and painted black. They were "Shepard's crooks", 2, one on each side, draped in the center with periwinkle satin, gently gathered. They stood 7 feet tall and about 4 feet wide. Each curl on the crook held a small candle lit glass lantern. Behind the buffet there were five of these back drops and one each behind the cake and punch tables.

There was a fog machine and bubble machine that were set to work for certain dances to give it a terrific effect.

The entry table was placed in the foyer of the building under a large painting of the Savior's Second Coming. The blues and periwinkles of that picture along with the bridal photos blended perfectly and set the tone for the evening. A large vase of fresh hydrangeas, orchids and star lilies was placed behind the guest book and temple photos.

The surrounding walls in the reception hall were covered with draped and pleated tulle, topped with a fluffy border with twinkle lights behind. The tulle ceiling was still pretty flat, but the bride made beautiful crystal "rain drops" that hung all over the room, making the ceiling quite glittery and gorgeous. It was really great.

The room was lit well by the twinkle lights, up-lights, and candles (battery) quite well.

By 9:00 that night we were able to leave, satisfied with the result. Pretty.

By 9:00 S'mee remembered that she left the bridesmaids' dresses at the now closed alterations store without the ability to call because S'mee didn't have the phone number to call and if she did, HELLO! WE'RE CLOSED!!! A drive by the store revealed she does not work the weekends. Dresses would be hostage until Monday, 2 days after the wedding. Smooth one S'mee.

I loooove L.A.!

When you begin the day with a "chocolate cream frappachino, medium please, and ummm, a rice crispy treat, thank you", life is good. I met up with Chronicler (sorry no link here, 'puter problems - see the side bar - Food Chronicles) and we set out for a day in LA. Upon arrival at the prearranged meeting place I was early. Knowing Chronicler enjoys a good strawberry whozit from Starbucks, I called her on the cell and asked if she would like to start the day and make it a "sugar high Thursday"? I found the perfect spot, ran in and met with a terrific English gentleman behind the counter. He could tell immediately that I was a Starbucks virgin and helped me through the process. I felt like a dork anyway and just ordered the same as Chronicler.

She met me half way down the block, having parked her baby (a cute little 'cooper') in a safe spot waaaaaay far away in a distant galaxy where she would be safe from the day's dings. We set out and drove in to LA to the garment district where I was promised I could find a "cheap yet reliable tailor" to alter the wedding dress I purchased for my son's upcoming nuptial celebration. I wrote earlier about buying the dress (on sale for $50). After finding a parking spot, adding 50 cents to a meter, Chronicler and S'mee-self waited with a group of non English speaking workers for an elevator up to the 2nd floor of a very "funky" building. After nodding and smiling a while we got off on our floor and walked in to find two very kind tailors willing to help me out.

How much to alter the dress? "Poot on first, then we see how mooch." After dressing, the two gentlemen are all over me with pins and tape measures and I look as though I am an albatross awaiting a dry landing with my arms hanging there (flapping?). After the last pin was set one of the men said, "Ooohkay, now you take off and be 3 hours back, please." "How much for the alteration?" I asked. His reply, "Three hours back please. Mooch work. Take long time." So once again the query, "How. Much. Money?" "Three hours back please, mooch work, seventy doolars, seventy uh huh, three hours you come back please."

I paid $50.00 for the dress. I don't care how mooch work, I can't pay $70 to get it right. "Well, thank you, but I cannot afford $70 for the alteration. Thank you." And I begin to take the jacket off. "Hoold it please!" and at that he was on his knees taking all the pins out o the hem.

We walked down the stairs, not wanting to wait for the very slow elevator. (Creepy factor HIGH) Chronicler suggested we head over to the Farmer's Market/The Grove for lunch at her favorite Italian restaurant (hey you took home the wrong bag and you have my meatball sub leftovers!). We walked through Barnes and Noble and did some critiques of Cook books, and debated chefs versus cooks. (Flo Braker = cook Giada DeLorentes = food network eye candy) As we headed back to the freeway we stopped by a couple of Cake Bakeries; each sitting cheek to jowl of the other (in fact, the one was in the middle of the other - complicated, but true). Chronicler and I parked the car, ran across traffic and went in to see what all the fuss was about. Here in LA these are the two places to go for wedding or real party cakes. Who really had the best? She had to know! So we went in each store, tasted samples and perused the displays of their talented bakers/decorators. The cakes were indeed delicious and some were amazingly complicated in design and technique, although I didn't see too much that I hadn't see already in books.

I think Chronicler will probably write up the stores and bakeries, so I will let the Cook do her job well. On the way home we talked and chatted and, as what is becoming a habit, ended up at the Cheesecake Factory to grab tonight's dessert. YUM!

What about the dress? Well, Chronicler and I decided that if she pinned and scrunched, that perhaps I could do a fair Dr. Frankenstein and end up altering it myself. So next week it's back down to her house for a scary few hours of sewing; and hopefully the dress will be fine. Hopefully.

The Easy Road part two

Back ground on Thor and I: We were married when Thor was 19 and I 18. Our children began to arrive two years later. Thor was young, but had a career and decided that "no wife of [mine] will work outside the home!" Part of that was pride and part of that was a true sense of his families upbringing and philosophy. I will admit that I both enjoyed and hated that at times. It gave me the opportunity to do whatever I chose to do with my days, however, before children came along I found myself bored at times.

Enter children and my life became less than relaxed. Mundane, monotonous, bored, how many words can mean the same thing? Amidst the drudgery of the housework, diapers (cloth), and dishes there were great moments of infant discoveries and childhood achievements. I have to admit there were the days when I would have given my right arm to have an adult to chat with.

Thor worked 7-12s. 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. This was the norm in our early years of marriage. There were times when the 7-12 became 7-18 and then the times when work stopped all together and we would ride the savings train until the next job opened up. I was always one who looked forward to my husband coming home, I didn't care about the money, I married for Thor! Unfortunately money is needed to buy the little luxuries in life, like electricity and food, so Thor would take most every job assigned to him and off he would go for another couple of months. Life was good financially and we bought a fixer upper in the desert and set up housekeeping. Many things had to be done and I learned how to fix and repair and paint and make do until the "real" money came in. (still waiting...!)

The 80s came and destroyed the work force in CA and Thor couldn't get a job for three years. We lived off of food storage and hand-me-downs and S'mee went to work for the first time since high school.

I was nervous and scared and thought that because I had put off any collage in place of children I was crazy to even try to get a job. I sent out so many applications and only had one employer call me for an interview. I landed a minimum wage job at a "Hello Kitty" store. My co-workers were all still in high school and I was older than the owner of the store. I felt out of place and desperate. But an amazing thing happened. After one week I was given a pay check and told that I was catching on well. After three weeks I was offered the management position and soon I was earning national awards for myself and my store for our sales and for our visual displays. The boss/owner asked me to enter corporate contests; I won first place in every contest I entered except one, and that was a second place. I was noticed by a corporate sponsor/affiliate who encouraged me to enter other contests and had two of my works published in national magazines. I was doing things I had never done before and being recognized by "important" people in the business. I was asked to do art design for rubber stamp companies, and to create and demo new products. When the owner of the store decided to sell the store back to the corporation, the CEO of Sanrio International came to discuss the deal. I did not know at the time this was the son of the original owner and developer of Sanrio, I just knew him as "Daniel-san". My boss introduced me and after a business lunch "Daniel-san" asked that I address him as "Danny". o.k. Danny then proceeded to offer me the store. He wanted me to run and manage the corporate end of this venture. My pay had just been quadrupled and my title put me at and above levels of others I had worked under in the private sector of the business. Some were very pleased at the promotion, others not so. Either way I would still only have to work 40 hours, but now with benefits, a pension package and "perks". There were many people, including my former boss, who were amazed at my relationship with "Danny" and figured it would not be long before I would move up into the company and into the San Francisco head quarters. I actually could see that myself, which was really complementary and flattering to say the least.

About a month before all of this happened, Thor finally got jobs again. First a week here and a week there. Then before we knew it he was back to the long hours and regular pay. I conferenced with Danny and politely told him I was honoured and pleased, but I would be going home to my kids!

The Easy Road part one

A few years ago a friend from high school contacted me after 20+ years.

His life had gone the way of many independent people in the late 70's. He was and is very gifted and intelligent. He had a terrific home life with a loving family and many talents. He left high school and fell into experimenting with drugs, alcohol, sex, and yes, rock and roll! He never married, realizing too late he loved himself more than anyone else and had allowed the girl of his dreams to slip away and marry someone else. He had traveled the world, climbed mountains, taught voice and guitar, been in a successful rock band, researched tortoises in the U.S. deserts for 5 years and lived in a Tibetan monastery as a monk for 7 years. He considers himself a Buddhist and is skilled in meditation and Hindu transcendentalism. He is an author and poet and is currently living back at the monastery which brings him so much comfort.

Throughout our conversations I began to see that instead of finding himself, he had found temporary comforts in the solitude that comes from removing one's self from the world. He had been "back in the world" for about four years when he contacted me. It was about a year before the 9-11 attacks in the U.S. 9-11 caused a great confusion in his philosophy and way of thinking. All of the sudden he was no longer able to "let it be". He was upset and angry and wanted retaliation and justice. This was contrary to his belief system and thus began an open wedge in his "solid" base.

Two months after 9-11, his father died unexpectedly and tore my friend's world in two. The base of his foundation was beginning to crumble. His letters paused for a while and then one very deep, thought provoking essay came through. He was confused and hurting and wanting so desperately to find something "real". He moved across country to console his mother and get away from whatever was haunting him. After a few months he moved out and down into CA near his brother, who after years of abusing his body was dying of liver disease.

Needless to say, 9-11, his father's death and now his brother's death were too much for him to take and he again moved back to the monastery for some down time and reflection.

Before he left he remarked how nice it was that Thor and I decided to "take the easy road and do what was expected. To not venture out into the world but stay home and let life pass us by." With his life experiences I can understand why he would interpret what Thor and I chose as predictable and expected, but easy? No.

Each of us had the view that the other did what was expected from them at the time. I grew up in a little hippy atmosphere where everyone was "expected" to try drugs, search for life "out there" and rebel against the status quo. I actually felt I had done the unexpected and stuck to the routine. Get married, have some kids, make a life, follow the rules.

Nothing about either life was easy for sure. However the end results were what made the difference in the decisions. His life was indeed difficult. His life has so many unanswered questions and he feels that "the only way off the wheel" is by letting go of it and allowing things to just "be". He has been convinced that he has no control and that he should not control his destiny. Thus is the trap of his philosophy. It is easy to allow others to do what they will; but when you also need to allow "whatever" to happen to you without regard to your own will, you have no responsibility and no consequence -thus no chance of reward. This life-style will keep him "on the wheel" for eternity. Taking himself away from the world restricts his experiences and his learning. How does one learn to overcome if one is always hiding from reality or running away from it when it hurts? This is the time to learn, to experience, to grow. It is easy for him to be "obedient" and "nice" when he is constantly surrounded by others who are adopting this same principle. No words, no conflicts, solitary isolation away from real life and real challenges. It is difficult to be nice when you are tired, when someone has yelled at you, when you are behind with the bills. That is the test. The real test. And it's hard.