Whatever You Want - part deux

If you read this post a week or so ago, you know how frustrated I was with trying to find a new sewing machine. E-freaking-gads.

Well I exhausted all my resources, made enemies out of long time friends, distanced relatives and basically drove my husband to drink (mom prophesied he smoke some day, I suppose drinking is just as bad, oh well.). So Thor has been hitting the rootbeer floats pretty hard lately. He says it's from his work, but I think there's residual stress from having to listen to me vent for two months.

One thing we have learned from all this is that whatever you want in life will take twice as much as you expect it to. When you're a kid you think "Hooray! I'll graduate from high school and then it will be over!" Until you realize that you still need an additional 4-6 years of formal education; and then there are those "required" continuing educational classes or seminars that one must attend if they expect any kind of increase in earnings. Mothers are another good case for this. They think "Sure, it's going to be nine months of agony, but then the baby will come and things can never be as bad as that pregnancy." Well until you realize that your body just stores up all that it put on hold for nine months, and lets you deal with it as you feed another person from your own physical resources. Don't get me started on potty training or getting rid of that sippy cup.

Thor and I went to Utah. Along the way we saw a really nice little boat. Thor said, "That's a really nice little boat!" It only cost $600.00 but we were both sure that it would be the perfect size for a vacation on a lake with a couple of the kids, or for them to borrow a family at a time. The trouble is, everything is always twice as much as you expect. $600.00 for the boat, and a trailer to haul it around in would be at least another $600.00. 1,200 reasons why Thor and I do not have a boat.

We drove down the road a way and saw a canoe! A really nice canoe for only $300.00! I said, "Hey, how 'bout a canoe? Only $300.00!" Thor looked at me and said, "Yes, but you'll need another $300.00 for a roof rack on the car; and do you see the flat back on the canoe? That's for a little outboard motor. Those don't come cheap either. With fishing licenses for everyone, bait, rods, reels, tackle boxes, renting a cabin at the lake and food for a week, etc. we're looking at more than the boat cost!"

It's the same with fast food. You get the dollar hamburger and they tack on another dollar for the soda. We're dead meat. All of us.

I finally ended up buying a sewing machine. I had originally decided that I had saved (well over) $350.00 and that would be my budget. In the end the dumb machine cost $745.00. Holy Toledo. I get the wonderment home and for the past two days reading the (War and Peace sized) manual has consumed my every minute. This new machine is computerized! Wahoo! To a point. Now the darned thing is smarted than I am.

Today I sat down to see if I could push all the right buttons and give the little lady a test run. I went to my scrap fabric. Hmm, silk, felt, heavy Teflon coated quilted fabric for a new ironing board cover, ummm, (dig dig dig) oh! um, (dig dig dig) no -can't use organza, tulle? nope. Stink! I have nothing but weirdo fabrics in my scrap bag! No worries, I'll grab ten bucks and head down to the store, I need a few other sewing things to get officially started.

I run down to the fabric store... I grab a half yard of plain cotton, 70% off (orange tag!), and then remember I need "special" bobbin thread, grab some of that, also, if I am going to test the embroidery, I will need "embroidery" thread, on sale -buy two get one, oh and the stiff backing stuff so that the fabric doesn't pucker, oooooo.k. Done. $25. and change.

St Petersburg! This is getting ridiculous! But there you have it, everything doubles!

All in all though, my happiness doubled as well. You see, for the first time -ever- I made button holes without cursing! I also (machine) embroidered the first try and the second try without any complications! Who knew this was possible? Raise of hands??? Yeah? Me neither! I wrote names and companies and titles and love notes and drove that fabric all over the place with stitches that looked like leaves and hearts and small tiny crocodiles -all without swearing!

It's a Festivus Miracle!

I (machine) smocked! I 'drew' a dish!
I blind hemmed, and made a fish!

I wrote monograms and "Mickey Mouse",
and 'his -n-hers' and "Welcome to our House!"

I'm giddy and hysterical!
I sat all day and played!

I puffed a little baby sleeve!
(for 750 paid!)

From now on I'll be sewing
so much they'll think I'm lost.

Baby clothes and backpacks,
equal to Prada's cost!

Between the price of fabric
and machine's (that do inspire),

I'm afraid I'll have to tell Thor:
"Sorry Babe, you can't retire!"

stroke of genius

I saw this on TED (lower left side bar under "looking off the port bow")when it first came out and loved it. Last week Jill Bolte Taylor was interviewed on NPR as the book she has written is being released. This is a fascinating true story of a brain scientist who falls victim to a stroke. She speaks of how at first she doesn't realize what is happening, only that it is beautiful. Eventually she figures out something is wrong and eight years later she is able to express her struggles and what she learned as a scientist who observe the stroke from the inside out.

This talk is well worth the 18 minutes it takes to view. I guarantee you willbe glad you listened to her. Awesome.

Good for what ails you...

I have a very busy schedule today through Sunday! 2 Funerals, 1 Wedding, 1 Baby Blessing, cutting my hair, cooking roasted potatoes with herbs (for the funeral)and a trip to the temple. So I grabbed the photo album and took a few cleansing breaths. Views from a few of the beaches we have been to, and wish to be again...

Me and Dory

I remember being a (very) young bride; and life, it seemed, would never get around to happening for me. I felt then, and still do at times, that I had lived through a tumultuous childhood fraught with many trials that not one of my peers had. I was a bottom feeder, and I felt as though I would never see the top of the tank. Still, there was sibling love, remembrances of giggles and good times, and hope.

I was 18 and my new husband was a very old and wise 19. We moved into a small apartment in a bad neighborhood and thrived on the extra $12.00 a week we had after we paid all our bills. We kind of threw ourselves into the deep end and learned to swim with the currents. Tuna was 52cents a can then. I would measure the economy by that can of tuna for years. Anyone wanting to know our fiduciary skills could monitor it easily by checking out the counter in the kitchen. It would be 20+ years before we would splurge on paper towels.

Prior to our marriage Thor and I had long discussions on children, how many, how soon, how to rear, where to rear them, what kinds of discipline, even if they would share rooms or get a car at 16 if we had money enough. We made goals for home, education, work, and missions before we ever "walked down the aisle." One of those goals was to retire by age 40. We did the math and decided that we could do it.

Well, time goes by and the storms came and went. But you know, even with several years of absolutely no work (hello 80's recession) we were still 'vested' and eligible for retirement at age 42. Wisdom somehow comes with age (at least one hopes), and with that we changed gears and decided that in this new economy, tuna @ $3.49, we probably should continue working and bank more hours into the pension fund. "...just keep swimming!"

In a way it has proven to be a greater blessing than I had anticipated. In these later years Thor's job remained in the same field, but his duties and responsibilities changed. He was now working behind a desk, and often behind the wheel or in the air. He has been sent all over the US and Canada to learn and provide a better way of life for those in his company. He has had opportunities and experiences we never dreamed of. I have also.

As a little girl I could never have hoped for the blessings I have been given. For the trips with Thor to Alaska or Hawaii, to Washington and Washington D.C., to Las Vegas (which I am never really fond of, but I do enjoy being with Thor) and Monterey. Heck, up until 8 or so years ago I had never even considered getting on a plane!

I have met all different people and seen many different cities. I head for the 'sights' while Thor is stuck in a basement. At night we drive to see what the non-tourists do and where they live. I am always able to find interesting places and new things, even if I have been there before.

Tomorrow we head out again to Las Vegas. I will visit with some family and do a lot of room staying! I can catch up on some much needed reading and do a bit of photo shooting. I'll be sure to post the days finds.

I'm not really sure what this post is about other than the idea of sometimes life throws you into the deep end, you get chased by sharks, you ride the swells and surf the waves. As a child I learned so much more because of the 'breakers'. As an adult the 'waves' have also taught me, but they have also been terrific fun.

I have made it to the top of the tank many times during my life. For the most part I live among the kelp, in the middle, a little above and a little below. I just keep swimming.

In the end, looking back, my curvy little knot in the string, my swim in life's ocean, has been very blessed. I am pretty blessed.

Lessons in Art

"Mother, child, and Daddy...unfinished work"

A while back I posted the water colour painting I was working on. I have never had any 'formal' art training outside of high school, so when it comes to this medium I am well challenged. Because the lack of experience, I am now working on painting number 3. Yes 3.
"Detail of child"

If I make a mistake with acrylics or oils, I can scrape most of the paint off, wait for it to dry and begin again right over the mistake. The mistake is still there, just well hidden and only I know it's there. Not so with water colours. Or maybe, but I have no clue as how to fix a blooper, so I begin again. Each painting has taught me something new and I continue to learn with each stroke. Not too much here, lighter hand there, layer, layer, layer.
"Detail of scales on the mermaid child"

Yesterday I made a rather "duh" mistake. In my enthusiasm for something that I thought was going well, I rushed it. I forgot about the layers; and this morning when I woke up, again, it hit me. "How am I going to get around fixing this without having to redraw, repaint yet another painting?" I did a little research and headed out to the art supplier here in The Boonies, and spent some time pondering in the aisle. I came home and experimented with the former painting and tried to teach myself a new technique. It worked well enough to keep me from having to start from scratch.
"Detail of illuminated metallic scales on mermaid child. oops, blurry."

So here I am this evening assessing the day's work. My back and shoulders are sore from standing too long in one place and focusing without taking good breaks. What I have I learned?

It's called water colour for a reason, water is very important. Paper is also important. Don't go cheap. Get the best you can, pay the higher price. The better the paper the less it will bubble and curl, the better it accepts your paint.

The water colour paper wants to be prepared before you start in on it. Give it a little water before the paint and it will reward you. Keep adding water as you paint, it keeps the lines from dragging and smudging.

Think ahead and visualize what objects are in the foreground and which will be in the back. In other words, make a plan.

Use a 'masking agent' if you need to block washes from specific spaces on the paper.

No matter how well I try to hide my mistakes, I'll know they're there.

It's like life I guess. Christ was often referred to as Living Water, an Artist, and we, His canvas. We need to accept the Water and we need to be the best we can, to live up to our cost. As in the painting, we need to constantly keep Water in our painting, Christ in our life. We need to have a plan, to keep focused on those things which are just background, and those things which need our attention most.

God has given me commandments to use as a protection for those parts of my canvas I need to keep clean. It's like the masking agent for my life.

Most importantly we have been given the opportunity to repair mistakes. Yesterday I forgot the plan, I rushed into a part of my painting that should have waited. It could have ruined the entire painting, but I was able to use tools, and with patience and work, paint over the mistake. The painting is fine, just as it would have been had I not rushed. It's like repentance. Christ's atonement has given me a way to repair my personal canvas and make it as new. The thing is, even though I make mistakes, I know they are there, but He takes them completely away. I am clean again.

blessings journal

In his talk, O Remember, Remember President Eyring encouraged us to write down the blessings in our lives on a daily basis. An excerpt from that talk:

"When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day. Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.

He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down.”

I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write. And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family. Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it.

I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done.

More than gratitude began to grow in my heart. Testimony grew. I became ever more certain that our Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I felt more gratitude for the softening and refining that come because of the Atonement of the Savior Jesus Christ. And I grew more confident that the Holy Ghost can bring all things to our remembrance—even things we did not notice or pay attention to when they happened.

The years have gone by. My boys are grown men. And now and then one of them will surprise me by saying, “Dad, I was reading in my copy of the journal about when . . . ” and then he will tell me about how reading of what happened long ago helped him notice something God had done in his day.

My point is to urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies. You may not keep a journal. You may not share whatever record you keep with those you love and serve. But you and they will be blessed as you remember what the Lord has done. You remember that song we sometimes sing: “Count your many blessings; name them one by one, And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.”

By clicking on the link you can take the time to read the entire talk, which is well worth the extra few minutes. President Eyring is an amazing man with a keen mind and great insights. He's one of my favorites!

I am going to take his advice. I already have a journal picked out and I am going to try and make this a daily habit. How about you? Why not go out, find a great new journal that will inspire you to write down those good, positive things in your life? Wouldn't it be wonderful, to read back on this next year and see just how many good things came your way each day? It would be such a great way to live, seeing the good. Many of the blogs out there participate in daily gratitudes, that's awesome!

So we have a few days to go out and get ourselves ready. Or if you already have a blank journal lying around, how about tonight? Surely good things happened over the Christmas Holiday that insured many blessings on your family. Why not write them down?

Thanksgiving III, yeah you read that right! THREE!

O.k. so today is Sunday. Yesterday was by far one of the best days I've had all year. ALL the kids were here and the two little ones, and we had a BLAST!

#2 and his wife brought over their wii, and we all got to play with that -for hours! And then #1 and his wife brought in their Guitar Hero, which again we all had to play. OH MY HECK that was fun to watch. We have an especially quiet daughter in law who spanked everyone with guitar hero...that alone was worth whatever amount of money the thing cost. Watching her just quietly playing the game and hitting the high scores was FUN! Imagine the most shy quiet person you know turning into a rock star.

The food was great. Those ribs were history in about 15 minutes. Seriously not one left. I buy the best ribs I can find, strip the funky membrane thingy from the bone side off and then cut the rack into manageable pieces. I use a dry rub and massage it in to both sides and place the rack in a ziplock to marinate over night. In the morning I line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, lay the ribs bone side down cover with more parchment, and then seal the pan with foil. Into a 225 oven for at least 6 hours, yesterday was 7, and the last half hour coat the ribs on both sides with a 50/50 blend of Mesquite Barbecue sauce and Pure honey. Back in to caramelize for 15 minutes, another swab of sauce and back in for the last 15. The ribs come completely off the bone and are so tender you can cut them with a banana. YUM.

The chicken is essentially the same routine. I buy good quality whole wings. Rinse/wash well and pat dry. No marinade. In the morning, lay the wings on a parchment covered cookie sheet. I brush the chicken with melted butter and sprinkle them liberally with garlic... no salt, nothing else, just the garlic. Cover with parchment and then seal the pan with foil. Bake at 225, for 6 hours. The last half hour coat the wings with the b-b-q sauce and caramelize for 15 minutes twice. These are great. You can also leave the sauce off and they taste great that way too.

I biffed on the pineapple upside down cake, we had so many desserts that it seemed silly to keep making more, so maybe next week.

Sunday lessons at church today were awesome. Just one point then I'll let you go. How about making a daily gratitude / blessings journal? Every night before you lay your head down take a few minutes to remember the day and acknowledge the blessings and good things that came your way during the day. When things go bad you have a reminder of just how great things have been. I have a d-i-l who did this all through her younger years. She swore by the results.

And the Thanksgiving Three? Yeah baby, a young couple, dear friends have invited Thor and I over to their home this evening to join their Thanksgiving celebration! This year rocks!

Tutorial Tuesdays! A Holiday Chair Scarf for beginners

I love to dress my table every day and especially for the holidays. I found this fabric and it called to me! So I put my sewing machine to work to make a matching clothe and chair scarves! I think it will really make the coming holiday very nice.

The tutorial for today is a quick easy way to dress up a chair, and the instructions are basic, no fuss, none perfect beginner level. It uses sewing, but if you need to glue it that should work, just not as nicely, nor not as soft and flexible when tying on the chair. You can find the tutorial
here, along with a video presentation!

Chris

From before the beginning of the world we knew the plan. We would wait for our turn on Earth, grab a body, learn as much as we could, experience life, and be tested...again, and again, and again.

For Chris, well, he followed the plan to almost perfection. He was one of the valiant, saved for the latter days, to be tried and tested and learn and grow. He had this warm shy smile that got him into both your heart and into "fun". Some of his tests were more difficult than others but he always found a way to pass. Some who didn't know him well enough may have thought he was full of spit and vinegar or perhaps walked to close to the edge. To those of us who know him, we "get" him. We know that he felt if you weren't living on the edge you were probably taking up too much room. He explored everything good and exciting. He enjoyed company. He made a friend of pretty much everyone.

Chris was at our house from a very early age. His giggle was more often heard than words, and his help offered more than a complaint. He seriously would have given you anything you required of him and was always happy to share. Not a normal thing for a small kid or even a teen aged boy, and magnified as a young adult. He had no rules for friendship, other than everyone deserves a friend. Even a stranger. Sometimes that scared those of us who had a bit more wisdom, but somehow he always came out ahead of the game because of his generosity.

He was constantly encouraging our son to this or that and they had so many adventures. After talking with #4, I think those adventures have now become sacred to him. He thinks of Chris as his brother, he felt it when he passed away, before any one could explain to him, #4 "just knew".
I went to to personally tell #4. I went to his church and went in search of him, thinking I would pull him out of the main worship service. As I walked down the main hall I saw #4 standing there, looking confused. When he saw me, he began to tear. I started to ask him. "Did some.." And he stopped me short. "Mom. Your here to tell me Chris died, right?" "Yes. Who told you?" "No one. I just felt it. I felt it all morning. Seeing you just confirmed it." And he began to cry.

Chris has so much pain recently. So much change in his life that he could not control. He was struggling with making new life plans, finding his way on an altered course. Trying to be optimistic about remaking his life to fit his new body. He had been given so many tests.

They say we are here to take tests. Chris passed. He passed all of his tests well and now he has graduated with honours. He is on to greater, higher education. And as in most graduations, there are tears of both sadness and joy. Hope for the future and what will be accomplished and fondness in the memories of the days we all shared while learning together.

I know Chris is a smart young man. I know he knows what his future holds and I am positive he is making new friends, renewing old relationships and shyly giggling while being a friend to everyone he meets.

She stepped officially through the Golden Door

Sat in Sacrament this morning and listened to a friend of mine. She bore her testimony. Last May she and 5,000 of her new neighbors were presented up, weighed and measured and sworn in as the newest of the United States of America's citizens.

In her heavy accent she articulated that she loved "da Propet Joseph Smit because Got made him to be here and he saw Got and Jesus. I love da Propet." With tear filled eyes she related her thoughts that she would not have the Gospel if "Joseph Smit did nah live in da U.S. because Got blessed this lan for dis purpose." She loves her childhood home but feels God sent her here to bless her family with the Gospel and even though "I gah da really good job and am the manerger of many peoples it doesn mean nothing because I got the Gospel. Dat's all dat madder. My family has da Gospel." She then said that she felt remorse at waiting to apply for citizenship and putting it all off for so long. It never bothered her before that she could not vote, that she could not serve on a jury, and that she had no more legal rights than she had before she came here. "Now dat I am a real ci-izen I can do dose tings and more. I can voe now an I will. When eh comes my turn to be a jury I will go an do my job. I never had da same righs in my homelan. When I tink abou tomorrow I am happy now because I am real now. Before I was jus here an doing my job. I ha da papers an was legal but not a ci-izen. Tomorrow I will be happy."

As the meeting closed the Bishop rose, went to the pulpit and said the following: "In regard to Sister S's good news, I feel remiss that I forgot to celebrate with her back in May. To rectify that I suggest that everyone stay home tomorrow. Do not go to work. Stay with your families and spend the day thinking about Independence and Freedom and what it means to be a real citizen of these United States. Have a picnic. Go to the mountains or the beach. Eat some barbecue. Perhaps someone can find a firework or two to shoot off. Hey, let's make it a celebration! Let's all think of Sister S and her new found liberties." Then in a very hushed whisper as if to himself he said, "It's good. It's fitting." and sat down.

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, With conquering limbs astride from land to land; Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name, Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. "Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!" cries she With silent lips. "Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
- 1883 by Emma Lazarus, appears on the pedestal of the Statue

So here's to my friend. The newest citizen I know. Let's celebrate with her tomorrow. It's good. It's fitting.

Saturn

As Thor and I were on our way to Palm Springs he suggested we stop off at a car dealership and within an hour we were the owners of a new vehicle. It's boxy, it's smaller than the extended mini-van we had, but still large (if compared to, let's say this but not as large as, this). We got this. Normally Thor takes several months to make any decision, read: sometime in December I was expecting a car decision to actually come to fruition.

I am not sure if this was the reason for the 5.6 shaker the next morning, but hey, whatever brings us a foot massage. We were on the second floor of our hotel Sunday morning when the "earthquake" hit. Technically, if you have lived here in CA for any length of time, a 5.6 isn't much to write home about. Actually we were into it about 45 seconds before we finally accepted that it wasn't a plane flyby and actually the earth rumbling. After it was over we called the kids at home. #5 answered and said she was answering the phone just as it began so we talked with her while it was going through our town. It was cool to think it had that much time to get to where we lived. Science!

She is the "class" of 2005

Today is the big day for #5! Graduation! She is happy and woke up to take friends out to breakfast before going off to the rehearsal. On the flip side she is nervous. Nervous because she has to give her speech and she doesn't want to "preach" or "act like I know anything they don't already know." She is afraid that mom is going to brag too much about the honours and scholarships (she has a right to get nervous about that). She just wants to be normal.

But normal she ain't! She discovered "university" education in the fourth grade and has been determined ever since to get her education from some "U". She has worked extremely hard and with real dedication to that goal and it is finally here. I have to say she was one of the two we never had to ask if homework or practicing was done. It was always done, and then some. On top of the school she had a real zest for mentoring, volunteering and scripture studies. She reads her scriptures - all four standard works- everyday, everyday! I don't know too many adults who read all four everyday. (She was concerned about entering the Religious Studies Honours Program at the Bayou, her mom isn't concerned at all)

I can honestly say, outside of the 3 months in junior high when she wanted to be popular and sassy, she has been the model kid. People say girls are hard. My two girls have been amazing. They are better than the parenting they received and the parents are receiving the blessings.

O.k. enough mom braggity time. Good things to all who read this. See you all tamale!

The Easy Road part three

I went home. Back to the day to day routines and no paycheck and having to scrimp again - still. The big paycheck never had a chance to arrive. But after all the attention and all the pumping up of my attitude, ego, and ability it was time to go where I really mattered. I was making all kinds of strides and money for a corporation that in the long run probably doesn't even remember my contributions or name. At home, no one said thanks or appreciated what I was doing...yet.

The thing about being a mom is this: No one cares until it's too late. No one cares if you were there to do all the icky stuff, or even the really really fun things unless they go wrong and then they tell you about their disappointment or lack due to your efforts. It is the dictionary definition of "thankless job". But does that make it less important or necessary? Less worthy of praise and thanks? Consider a "janitor" or "housekeeper" for a facility. Let's say a hospital. No one ever really thinks about them. Heck, when is the last time a housekeeper saved anyone's life? The doctors do that, right? Maybe the nurses? Well think about it, no, "janitors" and "housekeepers" are right up there in the life saving business and no one shows them the respect they are due. Why? Because we assume they are uneducated, unmotivated, less than.., frankly, they aren't nurses or doctors when they had the same opportunity to become such as anyone else. But they choose to stay low and mop and sanitize and wash the laundry and wipe up the vomit and blood on the floor. Imagine a hospital where a janitor/housekeeper does less than the job requires and you are next to lay in that bed they cleaned. It gives me the heebeejeebeeies thinking about what could be left behind. Although I can honestly say I have never searched out a janitor to say "thanks, I mean it, really, thanks for keeping the place clean."*

The whole idea of political correctness nudges us to rename these janitors "housekeepers" in an effort to elevate their status. I can hear the voices now, "yeah, now we are compared to janitors! I HATE being a housekeeper, housewife, SAHM, whatever, I am more than that!" We hate it because of all the "someones" out there, some in our own homes that demean this work as menial and something worthy of "any idiot". Think back to what would happen without your menial labours, icky-ness everywhere. And we have all seen it ourselves; that one lady who just can't get it together in her own house. It's filthy and smells and we all think ill of her and sorry for her families. Yet, we demean ourselves for doing the job correctly. It's a conundrum for sure!

Perhaps the original sin is with women. We are, whether we like it or not, the primary care-givers (another PC attempt at elevation) for those in our families. EVEN the women who work outside the home full time and come home to another's "help" or none at all. I see my sister in this role. She works outside her home and still comes home to make a warm meal, clean the house, reared worthy children and kept a happy guy all the while. How she accomplished all that I can't imagine, I wasn't a good working mom and I know it. But there are women like my sister who do manage to do it; out of necessity or talent, they succeed. But the fact remains: women teach their families and are primarily responsible for the rearing of the brood. Part of that teaching should include respect for mommy and what she is doing, whatever she is doing. I mean really teach our children, both genders, what is involved in all this "care-giving". We all point fingers at the examples of ill parenting, housekeeping or basic living. How about pointing some fingers in the other direction?

Although the paychecks never came, the payoff has. I can see it in my sister's home as well, so I don't think it is a matter of the "stay at home"s versus the "work out side the home"s. For me the pay off comes to those who have taken the hard road. Done the menial and elevated those labours into what they truly are. They choose to serve and sacrifice for their children and spouses willingly and with a good attitude. They teach those being served the value of having a good home with parents who care enough to stay actively involved throughout the rough road. The payoff comes when you see the last of your daughters at the alter of the temple, dressed in purity and reflecting the teachings and principles taught by parents who took "the easy road" and lived life for their family rather than going for what they could have had in the "real world". The thanks may be silent, late, or perhaps there are those times when the "movie stuff" actually happens and your sons write you a long thoughtful thank you letter on the day of their temple sealing. I have received 3 such "thank you"s and let me tell you, nothing can compare to those kinds of paychecks. It helps me see that I really do matter and what I do, all the mundane mindless dribble that goes with the mom role is worth it. I am worth it. Taking the predictable road is worth it. Sanrio International has long forgotten S'mee; but my family will be with me for eternity.

*Since the original writing if this post I have sought out housekeepers, janitors and other folks who make it their life's work to keep things nice for others, and say, "Thank you" in a way that they understand just how much I appreciate their effort.

The Easy Road part two

Back ground on Thor and I: We were married when Thor was 19 and I 18. Our children began to arrive two years later. Thor was young, but had a career and decided that "no wife of [mine] will work outside the home!" Part of that was pride and part of that was a true sense of his families upbringing and philosophy. I will admit that I both enjoyed and hated that at times. It gave me the opportunity to do whatever I chose to do with my days, however, before children came along I found myself bored at times.

Enter children and my life became less than relaxed. Mundane, monotonous, bored, how many words can mean the same thing? Amidst the drudgery of the housework, diapers (cloth), and dishes there were great moments of infant discoveries and childhood achievements. I have to admit there were the days when I would have given my right arm to have an adult to chat with.

Thor worked 7-12s. 7 days a week, 12 hours a day. This was the norm in our early years of marriage. There were times when the 7-12 became 7-18 and then the times when work stopped all together and we would ride the savings train until the next job opened up. I was always one who looked forward to my husband coming home, I didn't care about the money, I married for Thor! Unfortunately money is needed to buy the little luxuries in life, like electricity and food, so Thor would take most every job assigned to him and off he would go for another couple of months. Life was good financially and we bought a fixer upper in the desert and set up housekeeping. Many things had to be done and I learned how to fix and repair and paint and make do until the "real" money came in. (still waiting...!)

The 80s came and destroyed the work force in CA and Thor couldn't get a job for three years. We lived off of food storage and hand-me-downs and S'mee went to work for the first time since high school.

I was nervous and scared and thought that because I had put off any collage in place of children I was crazy to even try to get a job. I sent out so many applications and only had one employer call me for an interview. I landed a minimum wage job at a "Hello Kitty" store. My co-workers were all still in high school and I was older than the owner of the store. I felt out of place and desperate. But an amazing thing happened. After one week I was given a pay check and told that I was catching on well. After three weeks I was offered the management position and soon I was earning national awards for myself and my store for our sales and for our visual displays. The boss/owner asked me to enter corporate contests; I won first place in every contest I entered except one, and that was a second place. I was noticed by a corporate sponsor/affiliate who encouraged me to enter other contests and had two of my works published in national magazines. I was doing things I had never done before and being recognized by "important" people in the business. I was asked to do art design for rubber stamp companies, and to create and demo new products. When the owner of the store decided to sell the store back to the corporation, the CEO of Sanrio International came to discuss the deal. I did not know at the time this was the son of the original owner and developer of Sanrio, I just knew him as "Daniel-san". My boss introduced me and after a business lunch "Daniel-san" asked that I address him as "Danny". o.k. Danny then proceeded to offer me the store. He wanted me to run and manage the corporate end of this venture. My pay had just been quadrupled and my title put me at and above levels of others I had worked under in the private sector of the business. Some were very pleased at the promotion, others not so. Either way I would still only have to work 40 hours, but now with benefits, a pension package and "perks". There were many people, including my former boss, who were amazed at my relationship with "Danny" and figured it would not be long before I would move up into the company and into the San Francisco head quarters. I actually could see that myself, which was really complementary and flattering to say the least.

About a month before all of this happened, Thor finally got jobs again. First a week here and a week there. Then before we knew it he was back to the long hours and regular pay. I conferenced with Danny and politely told him I was honoured and pleased, but I would be going home to my kids!

press release: At 11:03 this morning I was called to serve as the 1st counselor in the Relief Society. If you read past comments on the subject, all has been revealed. Which brings me to the scary part, I think after hearing the Bishop's blessing during the setting apart, there are "reasons" for my call, some of which are indeed "scary". lol

On a brighter note, the organization from which I was recently released has an AWESOME new presidency and will totally kick booty! I can really see the Lord's hand in the way everything worked out. It is way cool to see how it came together. The three gals in there now will be able to get things done that were near to impossible before. Timing! All the Lord's timing!

With "god" and "diva" in it's name, how can you go wrong?

godiva cheesecake
Originally uploaded by foodchronicles.

I have nothing to say about this except that the 1 1/2 inch square of chocolate that sat atop this decadent slice of paradise1 didn't have an opportunity to be photographed before it was savoured slowly in the mouth of the author.

Sometimes having a lousy lunch means an excuse for a really great "dessert"!

1 Godiva Chocolate cheesecake, sans Godiva chocoalte square, uhem...

Carlton's Log: Day One, the drive!

We had wanted an early start. Thor got a call and needed to go into work to settle some things before we hit the road. He gets home about 1:00, then some more "at home work" and we finally get on the freeway at 2:30.

The weather where we live was windy, bright and sunny. Off into the distance I can see dark storm clouds and the hot beachy plans begin to fade. But not to fear, I will be perfectly content no matter the weather... I will be at the beach!

Along our drive we encounter wind, rain, sprinkles, bright sun and back to sprinkles and rain by the time we drove through Thousand Oaks. I was worried for a bit, but the skies above Santa Barbara were filled with spring and the outlook of a sunny weekend was on the horizon!

Our drive was the kind that inspires folks to "load up the truck and move to Beverly! Hills that is. Sunshine. Movie Stars!" The skies above L.A. were clear as can be. The wind had swept the air clean and you could see across the valley for miles. The hills were very green and amazingly enough - the freeways were moving fast and with all 6 lanes loaded!

on a clear day you can see forever!
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

As we drove I kept thinking of my Gramma, who lived in Michigan in the 50's, decided to visit the friends out west in "Los Angeleeze" in December. She saw what winter was like here and that was that; they never went back home.

S.B. with Channel Island in background
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

We drove through all kinds of pretty scenery, but when I caught my first glimpse of that blue ocean my heart skipped a beat! Have I ever told you how much I love that ol' Big Blue? Our Hotel sits right on the beach and is quite lovely. We were staying at the Fess Parker Resort. This 4 diamond resort meanders along the beach front for an entire block. The south corner has a gorgeous open air pavilion and the hotel lobby, offices, conference rooms and restaurants. The one, two, and three story buildings (all named after flowers) that house the guest rooms are placed in two rows facing the beach and are followed on the north corner with tennis courts. We found the entrance and drove around. We were greeted warmly by valet, porters, and bellmen who welcomed us and removed the baggage from the car. They directed us through beautiful etched glass arched doors, flanked with beautifully carved wood. The large window in the lobby was also etched and gorgeous. The desk clerked got Thor registered in about 2 minutes flat. This is probably the quickest registration (save Hawaii) that we have experienced. They offered us hot coffee (no thanks) and plunked two huge warm chocolate chip and walnut stuffed oatmeal cookies (thank you very much!) into Thor's waiting hands. Although we didn't eat them right away, they were the perfect combination of moist cookie with a crispy edge. Yum! The gal at the desk directed us back out to the valet, who in turn directed us to drive our car around to our building - Camellia; "It's quite a walk. Driving can get you almost to the front door. Inside you'll find an elevator to the right and you're there." O.k. then. We get in the car and he was correct. This is an all time first. A valet who wants to save you money and walking! Our luggage arrived about 3 minutes after we did and the bellman was terrific.

The view from our 3rd story room is of the back side of the building in front of us. But if we look to the north a tad we can see the ocean, and even the Channel Islands. It's a spectacular afternoon and the weather is cooperating well. To the left is a botanical garden, swimming pool, spa and 18 hole putting green. To the right shuffle boards and tennis courts. Our room is nice, with a king bed facing the sliding glass doors that lead to a tiny, but effective enough porch. At the foot of the bed is a cushion covered dressing bench. Nice touch! There are a love seat, an over stuffed over sized wicker chair, a desk with two chairs and a dressing area. The bathroom is o.k. When I say that, I am comparing it with other hotels we have stayed in of the same rating. Trust me, it was better than home, just not the best I have ever seen in a hotel. The floor tiles we typical ceramic tiles, about 3 inch squares and the tub had the same tiles in a 5 inch version around the walls. The water was HOT, which may have given the 4 star rating a boost!

Thor was given his itinerary for the conference and within that a personal letter from the host suggesting certain places for this and that. Where he would go for dinner, etc. We drove around and got our bearings of Santa Barbara and ran into, quite by accident, Arnoldi's; one of the suggested eateries. More on our experiences there next post.

So here we go. My impression of Samantha Brown and her Great Hotels segments. I may never get my passport to Europe but I'll let you in on whatever places Thor and I are blessed to go to. I am quite spoiled and very lucky. Sit back. Read a while and let's see what else Santa Barbara had in store for us!

Happy Earth Day Mom

the fifth day
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

"...Let them have dominion over the fishes of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." - Moses 2:15

I remember the very first Earth Day. It seems so long ago, but like other national events, a collective remembrance easily brought back to our emotional and rational consciousness.

I was in grade school and my teacher prepped us for this new holiday day by day for weeks. We had more frequent trips to the library, extra time saved at the end of the day to read, search and find all kinds of new and interesting things about our "mom". Some things, like rain forests and polar ice caps were fascinating and grabbed our eyes as well as our minds. Then there were the scary things we were learning about that grabbed my heart. The tiny valley where I lived was the hole in the donut of hills and mountains around us, and learning about "inversion layers" was mind blowing to me. I could walk outside at recess and actually see the accumulation of vapors daily and felt really smart and observant. Smog was new back then. Just as communism, and the threat of bombs scared me -so did smog. I saw it coming, staying, hovering, and all the well meaning reassurance of my teacher could not dissuade the feelings of impending doom; and all it would wreak on me, my family and my future.

We were given tasks to accomplish, both as a class and individually. As Earth day approached our anticipation of the celebration did as well. On the actual day we had a "play day" full of activities. Special games and contests, and in the afternoon the excitement of an assembly! The walk to the cafeteria was electric! We met with other classes, all in line and a twitter with the party atmosphere that seemed to be our special guest that day. We all sat down on the benches and watched as one 6th grade class presented a play. A poem was recited by the kindergarten, and art work from our class was prominently displayed, taped to the tables still upright and folded into the walls. Pictures of all kinds and varieties. Frogs and waterfalls. Trees and slogans. Mine was a collage.

I remember it was on manila tag board. I had cut various photos from magazines and glued them over my original art. It was a city scene. I had learned how to draw perspective and so I enjoyed drawing streets and sky scrapers. Because of my newly acquired knowledge of Smog, it was keen and so important for me to express and educate others of this common enemy. The manila colour of the tag board was the perfect backdrop for my city of "progress". Heavy swirls of golden brown haze rose to the top of the paper. Sky-scapers lost their spires in it's gloomy breath. A black and white, rather sad faced cartoon of a cat was cut from a magazine and set to stroll down the sidewalk. I used my mom's Tri-Chem Fabric Embroidery - Turquoise Blue to draw a dead fish floating down the gutter. "My fuchur" was written on a bill board atop one of the lower buildings in black Magic Marker.

We ended the day by planting a tree in the front of our school. We held hands and stood in a circle as we sang "This Land Is Our Land". Then we went home. The end of the school year came and to my utter surprise I was awarded with my first trophy: 1st Place Artist for "My fuchur" an Earth Day Poster. I was evidently impressed and humbled as I remember both the events on this current Earth Day.

So here we are a thousand years later and what has happened since? Well, to my surprise California passed laws and regulations that have in the past 30+ years actually dropped auto emissions to the point that our air is actually better than it was when I was in grade school. Good job guys!

I am still a bit of a hippy chick. I am still fearful and worry about our eco-systems and environment. I fear we are more concerned about money than resources. I am hopeful and assured that there are others out there who are dedicated and making things better for all of us. I recycle and reuse, I try not to waste my water and resources. I participate in our community clean up days. I am part of a group that has an "adopted highway". If I could, I would morph myself into Ed Begly Jr and be as self sufficient as he. I think the point here is this: God created this big blue marble for us to spin around on and then blessed us with the responsibility to care for it. So, for today, at least, let's think and rethink how we can beef up our efforts and be a better steward. Let's make our momma proud.

Organize Yourselves!

Last night was my class on organization. It went fairly well with the evening beginning in a way I think should become a tradition for "Enrichment Night"a. Fondue! In the familiar LDS exclamation: OH MY HECK!

Is there anything as delicious as naked fruit dipped in chocolate and caramel? So simple, yet yumminess was at it's height. Who knows, maybe I was the only one who wanted to take their shoes off, grab a snorkel and just swim in the pot with fresh pineapple rings as my water wings.

I have never visited the wardb where I taught last night and I must say the ladies there were interesting and welcoming, as well as fun and interactive. The speaker before me gave a very informative talk on tackling the paper tiger we all seem to cage on our desk. Simple file systems followed by a question and answer period. There was a small debate over how long to hang onto bills and other documents for legal and tax purposes, other than that -smooth sailing!

One sidebar: The question of a home safe came up. Advice from our Fire Fighter son came to our family quickly after the large CA fires a while back. If you store your precious papers, documents or belongings in a "fire-proof" safe know that the safe will indeed be fire proof, your item inside will not be. It makes sense when he explained why. The fire proof safe is made to withstand a certain degree of heat before becoming invalid. If the fire becomes hotter than the safe is made to withstand, the hinges and locks, etc. can melt and weld the safe into a huge metal block without means of entry. Something to think about. Your items inside are not made to withstand those same degrees of heat without becoming baked to a cinder! Imagine taking your insurance papers and baking them for an hour in your oven set on broil. They would come out very fragile if at all. It works the same in the safe. Most home fires get pretty hot and you should not risk truly important unreplaceable papers anywhere other than a safety deposit box. Last night one lady brought up that banks also catch fire, what's the difference in safety? Banks and bank vaults have fire sprinklers which if they don't eliminate the fire will at least keep the heat degree down and the articles inside the vaults have a better chance of survival.

The meeting was to end at 8, and it was 7:45 before I even began, so it was a rather short and hurried version, but went well. The gal in charge gave me an extra 10 minutes, but I could have gone on for much longer and there were so many unanswered questions! I stayed afterwards and caught up as many queries as they wanted and still made it home in time to watch the Donald say "your fired". (yeah, I know, but for whatever reason I like that stupid show)

As always the big hit was a chart I made for our family to eliminate arguing and disobedience. It, basically, is a training for mom! I think when we realize that we are indeed the mom, the kids will catch on and that's where the change begins.

I don't have the space to review all my personal ideas and tips but a great resource on line is

organize tips

Organize tips . com has great FREE down loads for all kinds of "stuff", check lists, schedules, charts, and articles to help get you started. It also has a gazillion things for you to purchase, so puruse carefully and enjoy!

More on the whole organization later. I need to send some good mojo vibes to Flickr and see if I can help them get back in gear! ugh!

a. Formerly "Homemaking Night" or "Work Meeting", a once a month meeting where LDS women (18 and older) gather together to be enriched and educated on a variety of Spiritual and Temporal subjects. Usually very informative, fun and social, sometimes with dinner being served or refreshment. b. An LDS term having the same meaning as "congregation".

Super Models

faux window with birds
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Sometimes artwork is for the birds. This is an example of faux windows. In a model home, the developer wanted the windowless laundry room to look less claustrophobic, cheery, and someplace pleasant to a chore. I began by chalking out the space and matching the ledge and colours to the existing windows in the house. (This is where my painter's fan deck comes in handy!) I snap some photos for reference (my model of the house features). Next came the painting as desired by the client. Sometimes they want a few plants other times they go for a virtual jungle!

This client, the developer, wanted "subtle vines, very few, but straggling into the room. And birds." So this is what I came up with. We also have a two little birds sitting on one of the door frames unraveling a baby sock.

It's difficult to see in this photo, but the sky is lighter at the horizon line than it is towards the atmosphere. The haze and clouds are done with white, blues and a tad of yellow. The birds were taken from a local ornithology catalog, although they have the benefit of plenty of food! No one wants skinny birds. Most folks think that an artist just has these pictures already in their memory banks and can reproduce them without models. There are some who can, but most cannot. I try to use models as much as possible, so I can get the details correct; such as the higher the sky - the deeper the blue.

Ever really look at things? Most pine trees are more blue than green, dirt is rarely brown and clouds come in so many more colours than white. But our collective memories tell us that clouds are white - all the time, unless they are stormy and then they are always grey. Not so much.

Where would you place eyes on a head? Most people don't realize they are dead center, (about a nostril to nostril width apart) when looking straight on the face, tip of head to tip of chin. Of course there are always exceptions, but again that proves my point on the necessity of models.

Next time you venture to draw, which I hope you do, use a model! Take time to look at your model with seeing eyes, not memory eyes. It will make all the difference! And remember, even Michelangelo had to pick up a brush for the first time.