what's wrong with what we eat?

I guess you can call this Part Two, after Ann. Mark Bittman gave this talk at TED a while back. He refers to Ann in his talk, which is why I posted her video. I think they say much of the same thing, but each adds things the other leaves out. Ann is a bit more laid back, Mark a touch more acerbic; but not so much that it turns you off, he's just passionate about his food.

Please take some time to watch them both. Enjoy.

Randy Pausch

Today, one of the good guys graduated. Having passed all his tests Randy Pausch died leaving his wife and three children. If you haven't yet, click on the above link or on the screen below to watch and to listen to his Last Lecture. It's is worth the 104 minutes.

Girly girl stuff!

When I was with my Daughter in law last, I asked her if she would teach me how to crochet those cute little baby socks. After all, I have a baby girl to dress now!

D-i-l said yes and said they were super easy. (she actually made 60-some pairs as a Young Women's Project back in the day. She then donated them all to a shelter. Can you imagine getting these cute socks for your baby?)

So while she nursed L'il Bit, she walked me through a pair of socks. I finished the pair in about 23 hours...well maybe it was a tad shorter than that, but I felt really awkward that first pair! I left her with the first set and then came home and made a few more. And yes, they got easier each set. (but don't ask for a tutorial one this, I don't think I am that capable!)

I thought it would be cute to see if I could also do the same technique on a onesie. That was fun. Not. But I love the fuzzy soft look so I may actually do it again! I started with the pink fuzzy pair, went on to the onesie and then hit up the lavender and then D-i-l's favourite, the silver sparkle-y ones.

See? You can teach an old dog a new trick!




Update: Ok. I slept on it and it's driving me crazy. So look for a tutorial in about a week.

Apostasy Comes Stealthily

I remember when I was young our mother taught us many useful things. One particular lesson was to "Bloom where you were planted". Something s in our life will never be in our control, so we need to control our reactions to those unsettling events and make the best of them. After all, we never know how life will turn out until the end.

I took it to heart, as did my siblings. Sure, we get bummed when we have things planned out and then life throws you a curve, but for the most part we have tried to live by those lessons learned long ago.

I recently met with an older couple for an afternoon and during the visit listened as the wife rehearsed her dissatisfaction at being "displaced" from one house of worship to another. The religion hasn't changed. Her location has; and it is actually more convenient for them. This is something that she should have understood would happen(being a member for over fourty years), this is the way of things in the church. Growth causes change and change is always growth.

Back in the day I was always taught that God places you in certain paths until you no longer are needed there, or until you have learned what you can from the experience. "Bad" things, tests, trials and the like are not negative in reality, but opportunities for growth and development.

This woman earned a great reputation as a teacher. She could pick up a manual or topic assignment and then give a great application to her students. She found creative ways to motivate and enrich. Then one day she was released from her duty.

Instead of thinking of it as a great opportunity -as she had taught us to- she became embittered towards her leadership and towards the poor innocent person who was chosen to take her position. She looked at it as a "replacement" as a "undeserved demotion" as and adversary who had come"unworthily and unqualified" to "ruin" the position and all who would be involved. Her reaction to this change was to run away. She convinced herself and her husband that she was "sick" and stayed home that first week. That first week led to a second and then a third and she has been "sick" every weekend for almost two years. Now that she has discovered that their boundaries will place them in a new building, she is outraged. Now, instead of feigning illness on the week end, she is "protesting" and refuses to attend.

My question to her was "Will your lack of attendance change the situation?" She didn't answer with words but with a face of indignation; she knew the she had no power to change the situation, but still she is bucking the system.

Instead of accepting that she had served well, and that a younger, non experienced teacher was now learning to become a gifted teacher, she quit the team, she took her toys and went home. This woman, who could have been a great mentor to the new teacher, instead became selfish. Did it change the situation? No. It just took her down the road to apostasy as subtly as that alligator in the swamp waiting for the perfect moment to snap down an antelope at the water's edge.

If you asked she or her husband if she were inactive she would reply "No, I am just sick on the weekend." If you proposed the idea that she were apostate, she would be shocked to be classified as such. But in reality, she doesn't accept the authority that has changed the situations in her life, she feels she knows more than those who have been called to represent God, and feels she knows better than God and His will for her. She is defiant and when asked about whether these in authority are called of God, she mocks them and breaks sacred covenants in the process. It's sad.

I try to have some introspection within my own life to see the areas that I choose to put on that road to apostasy. Where do I dig in? Who do I mock? Who do I see as unfit for the Kingdom? Do I pick and choose whom has authority and who does not according to my preferences? Do I feign illness or create situations that cause me to withdraw myself from certain activities that I don't care for? Do I become hurt or offended because I have been released or called to a position I don't really want?

I am struggling with these issues. Wanting to help the woman I write about, yet turning to the mirror and hoping I can more effectively change that woman. I pray I can have influence on both.

one lesson, 38 years ago made a difference

I was baptized when I was about 8 1/2. Many folks hear this and think that makes me a "dyed in the wool" LDS person. I still think of myself as extremely blessed to have been introduced to the Gospel, to have had a family that accepted it and yes, be baptized while still only 8 years old. I can personally see how this young age baptism blessed my life.

We were converts, and as such -enthusiastic. After a year or so, I had Brother Hitzka as my Sunday School Teacher. He was a regular guy type of guy as I remember, nothing much to write home about. However, one Sunday something prompted him to be a tad more dramatic in his lesson presentation. We were all seated and he asked us to count off, one, two, one, two, one, two. I was a two.

"All of you 'two's please stand up. Go over to the door. Wave to everyone and say good bye." So we all complied. I remember standing there thinking I was going to be given a special assignment, would go off to the kitchen for a glass of water or perhaps out to the grass for something else, who knew? I was excited to be one of the "chosen"! "O.k.!" he said, "You can leave now, bye!" We just stood there not knowing where to go. "Um, BYE now! Go!" and with a swoosh of his hand we understood we were to GO, but where was still a mystery. Irritated, Brother Hitzka stood up, opened the door and began to physically lead each of us 'two's out the door. As he started to close the door, one boy asked, "Where do you want us to go?" "I don't care. I just know you will leave eventually so I thought why wait? Just go now and get on with your lives!" We all stared at Brother Hitzka.

For me, I had some abandonment issues already, so to have my Sunday School Teacher tell me to go began to tear at something familiar inside of me. I was immediately scared to death that I would never be back. I would never go to his Sunday School class again and maybe never see him again either. I felt a loss of love, his love, a love that I didn't think about until that moment in time; but something told me Brother Hitzka did love me. But did he decide not to now? I didn't quite know what to do with this information. The moment seemed very long, but eventually Brother Hitzka asked us all to come back into class.

"I read a scary fact this morning. By the time you kids grow up to be 21, half of you will have left the church. " Oh, now I get it, he's making a point. But inside I didn't feel much better. In fact it made me physically sick and I wanted to throw up. Brother Hitzka explained how when grown ups grow up they aren't much smarter than we were right then. He wanted us to be smart. He wanted us to know that things get hard in life and that sometimes, adults see the only solution to problems is to leave the church and their activity in it. He stressed that the one thing that was smart would be to hang onto our activity NO MATTER WHAT WE FACED AS AN ADULT! I don't remember too much from the lesson than that and the feelings I still have when I remember it all.

Brother Hitzka was right. In my class were 12 kids. By the time we were 21 exactly half of us had left the church for various reasons. "C" left because his family was a complete mess and he just couldn't figure out how to please them, himself, much less God. "G" left due to an early and sad temple marriage that fell apart. "K" left because her parents "shoved the church down [her] throat." Truth be told her parents were nuts, but it was an excuse for her to experiment with the late 70's and not feel guilty. "C" left because she had been abused by her father and when the church became involved the justice was not justice but a "good talking too, but not much else." Bitter. "S" left out of boredom. "E" left out of, again, familial shame brought on by a parent's public sin.

Did the other 6 of us have great lives? No. One of us married a man with children, one of whom decided to be gay. Another lost a spouse. Others had trials with word of wisdom issues, sex, and financial ruin. The truth is EVERYONE had an excuse to leave. EVERYONE had a reason to stay. For me, I also had trials. LOTS of trials. (Haven't we all?) I can honestly say that I could hear Brother Hitzka telling me to leave during each one. The point is this: After that one lesson I was so sick at the thought of leaving my Heavenly Father (someone it took me a lot of work to find) that I couldn't leave. The thinking of inactivity made my stomach ache - hard. I promised myself one thing. "If I ever felt like just staying home, or being mad and wanted to quit, that I would not allow myself to do that. I would work it out however I could, but I would ALWAYS go to church. EVERY Sunday. NO EXCEPTIONS."

That one promise, made by a 9 year old to her future self, has been the saving grace that helped me through thoughts of "This is enough! No more!". Through the desires to go out on the boat, take the day trip, just skip it this once. I realized even as a child that activity is more than sitting through "Dry Council Sunday" and the travelogue "testimonies", the hypocrites that demand this or that and do otherwise themselves. It's more important for me to sit through all the "junk" because that is where I am supposed to be. I have never regretted going to church, even when the lessons have been ridiculous and the drama of the women is worse than anything you see on t.v. Being there is important.

I still feel that love I felt from Brother Hitzka. I feel it through other people now. I know that feeling is directed from Heavenly Father. As a grown up I still have that scary feeling of abandonment. When I think that I would be the one doing the abandoning, it makes me sick. This time I choose to leave. This time I am the one who says, "I don't need you, you are not worth it! I am finding something better, something easier than you." The only difference is that I am saying it to my Heavenly Father. That thought and those feelings are what keep me in the bench, in the dull lesson, in the room when I want otherwise. I want the love and the feeling of going home to my Father someday more. I stay active.

Thanks Brother Hitzka.

Who says teenagers are bad these days?

Today my #5 came home absolutely exhilarated from school. It seems a random group of her friends and acquaintances conspired with each other and decided that today was "National #5 Appreciation Day!" When she arrived at school a small group met her at her first class with a bouquet of mixed flowers and hugs with the above celebratory reason. As she proceeded from class to class teachers chimed in and announced to each class that #5 was being celebrated and appreciated. (Two of her teachers added other positive remarks - which lately- she really needed to hear) She exclaimed that other kids in the hall also would shout accolades and "yo!" and she felt quite loved by the end of the day. So tonight we party!

What's on the menu? Well prior to knowing we are entertaining -Gramma's Goulash is in the making. We are preparing a salad so that when her guests arrive later this evening they can munch on choices of Euro greens with almonds, craisins, and apples with a balsamic vinaigrette; fresh citrus salad ala Aunt Chronicler; fresh strawberries and blue berries; Aunt H's famous baked cream cheese cake; and "maybe some popcorn". (I still make it on the stove, which none of these kids knew you could do until they came over - progress!) An odd snack menu at best, but hey, it's not totally without merit considering it is feeding teenagers with the munchies.