Profiling for Terrorists=Safety for All!

There are a few of you who literally know what I look like. For the rest of you let me draw you a picture:

5'4"(and that's a stretch), 50 yrs.old, over weight (seriously, just look at the icon, it's pretty accurate), short gray hair, glasses, very stiff legs and neck on the day in question, which means I was slow and walking rather "broken".

As that may be I am still the epitome of the American Enemy, a terrorist.

Yup. According to the folks at The River in Rancho Mirage, I am terrorist material!

I was taking the photographs you see in this post between 8:30a.m. and 10:00a.m. last Friday when I was approached by a Security Guard. Now to his credit, he seemed really embarrassed to "do his job", however do his job he did. Seems that "someone" had reported me. I was "suspicious". This is pretty much how the conversation went down:

Guard: Hello

S'mee: Hey! Pretty day!

G: What are you taking a photo of?

S: (as I am aiming at the roof of the Cheesecake Factory) The scroll work on the facade.

G: The what?

S: The scroll work. See? It's really cool and I bet no one ever pays attention to it. It's going to look great in a tight shot.

G: yeah? hmm.

S: Yeah! I got up early this morning so I could shoot the desert flowers in macro...

G: Really? I'm just learning to do that! Were you up at dawn?

S: Not that early, but early enough to get good light. Now it's too bright and those bougainvillea blooms are giving me trouble; too bright, too much contrast between the white and magenta.

G: So do you work for (a local newspaper)?

S: Oh heck no! hehe, my husband is in a hotel basement for a conference and this is how I keep myself occupied! I just go all over taking whatever sights I can. I like macro shots of architecture and ...

G: Shrubbery. Right. Yeah, you see, that's why I'm here.

S: huh?

G: Yeah, I've been trailing you for about 40 minutes. All I have seen you do is bend over and take pictures of the ground or stick your head in a bush. 'Figured all you were taking pictures of were close ups on flowers and bushes.

S: hehe, yup, I'm weird that way.

G: Well, I hate to say this but I need to escort you to your car. You need to leave.

S: What!?!

G: Yeah, someone called in a report a while back; said they saw you taking "suspicious" photos. Thought maybe we should check it out. That "someone" talked to a store owner who talked with another and then more and more shop owners called in and well, we have rules and policies about this sort of thing.

S: You mean against taking pictures of flowers? I didn't take any photos of people or store designs. You want to check out my film?

G: No, like I said, I've been watching you for 40 minutes and all I have seen is you taking shots of bushes. Well until the rooftop. They think you could be taking photos to use in a (rolling eyes) "plan".

S: Sooo, I'm taking terrorist photos? hehe. Let me explain something. First off, If I were to take off running, you could catch me in three steps. Second, there ain't a fat girl alive who would blow up the Cheesecake Factory! And third, if I were a terrorist and I did somehow manage to blow up this place, what would I accomplish? Blowing up, what, like, 250 old people? I'd be laughed out of terrorist school!

G: hehe, I see your point, but you still need to leave.

So leave I did. Let this be a lesson to you folks. If you are ever in Rancho Mirage, home to the likes of the Betty Ford Center, 12 golf courses, a casino, and the 67% elderly population who boast that Sony Bono was once their Representative...remember that they are also very diligent about civic security! The bushes have eyes! They have a "no tolerance" enforcement for their "suspicious" photographers. Terrorists beware! These folks are on high alert and will take down -or at least escort politely out- anyone profiled as "dangerous!"

I don't know about you, but after seeing these "plan" photos, I'll be sleepin' with one eye open! (shudder!)
(shhhh! That bud right there---> it's a microphone!)