Wednesday, April 25, 2007

A Corner in My Home

A while back Chronicler asks me if I would begin a series once a week of a corner in my house. "Take a photo of a space in my home and explain why it is important in my life." So here you go.

In this corner are the fresh status and ranunculus that I got at Costco. I love the clove scent of the status! The colours are absolutely gorgeous and the table just looks better with some blooms!

I love fresh flowers. I used to want Thor to bring them home to me, surprise me with fresh flowers for no occasion, but rarely did that happen. I waited and waited for him to catch on. I would drop hints. I would blatantly beg for them. And I would get upset and depressed when they would never come.

I was unfair. The man had enough to do bringing me home bacon. I have a terrific man in Thor and frankly, he wasn't given that example and all the pleading in the world would not inspire him on the way home from a hard day at work to grab a bunch of daisies "for no reason". It was unreasonable for me to get angry at him for this.

Now, I just pick up flowers when I want them. I pick the ones I like, I get the quantities I desire, I am happy and Thor is happy. This is the lesson: To all of us who dream of our spouses doing __________, perhaps we (read: everyone) would be happier if we just cut to the chase and provided it for ourselves.

I have a friend who really gets steamed because her husband doesn't initiate family prayer or family home evening lessons. I have another friend who is just as irritated that her husband doesn't surprise her with planned evenings and babysitting paid for. Still another is driving herself crazy because her husband still doesn't understand why she needs to have the laundry a certain way. The list could go on.

I think the best solution would be for we married folk to just speak up clearly about our needs and wants. If my spouse is too busy, dense, or otherwise tired, ignorant or stubborn....perhaps I should just figure out a way to get the flowers myself. How hard is it to ask someone to gather for family prayer. Is it easier to to fold the sheet this way or that rather than making a huge fuss about it? Wouldn't life be more pleasant if I got the sitter, packed an overnight bag and surprised my spouse? In all of these scenarios and many others the result would be the same, and both persons will be happy.

So here's the corner for today: Don't drive myself or my spouse crazy trying to fill up the little things. Surprise both of us and find a way to get it done myself! With a smile and without resentment. Big a big girl and take charge of my happiness! Who knows? Maybe in the long run there will a better surprise.

Now here's the challenge: Take a photo of a "corner" in your house and describe why it is such an important part of your life!

add to sk*rt


chronicler said...

I think I'll do this! I love your first picture, I can a part of here and there!

melissa c said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this! You are so right. I think every one of has has something we would like our husbands to do better.

I think it goes back to the dating days when they were trying to woo us.

They quit wooing and we want to be wooed still

Ah, well, life is hard. I agree that we are big girls. We need to make our own happiness

s'mee said...

Thanks Chronicler for the idea! Now go put up your corner!

Melissa, Back when Thor was trying to woo me I was also trying to land him. I was 115 lbs. had "d" boobs that passed the pencil test, listened intently to all he had to say, laughed at his humour, made him special dinners and always looked my best when he saw me. Now? Not so much. I don't run to the door like he is Ed MCMahon with the winning envelope when he walks through it. I am not as focused when he talks every time, and I am 31 years older with the body, hair, and attitude to prove it.

The point? Both Thor and I have found ways to relax, some good, some not so good. But why pick a fight over little things that I can do for myself anyway? Is it better for me to be right or happy?

Most of the things I wanted *him* to do were in fact things I could do myself. As I matured I found out when I want something to prove his love for me it involves something that will matter in the long run. Nothing says "I love you" like his integrity, his trust, his love that finds a way to forgive me for the knucklehead manuevers I pull all the time!

Flowers I can buy, his trust and love I cannot.

I am not the best writer and perhaps I expressed myself wrong. I guess that is what I was trying to say. oops. :)

Yolanda said... an occasional flower...Recipe for success!!

Yolanda said...

Oh...I forgot an important one...COMMUNICATION!!! Never assume to know what the other is thinking...

Maren said...

I think I'll have to do this too. What a great idea. I LOVE fresh flowers and this bouquet of yours is beautiful. I also like your wisdom concerning marriage. So true.

Sally said...

I do this too! I buy myself Valentines, Mother's Day, and Christmas presents and leave them on my pillow with little tags that say "To Sal, from Troy" and then I fuss and fuss over "discovering" them when it's bedtime. I fawn all over him with praise and thank him so much, acting all the time like he thought of it. He winks at me and smiles, because he knew what I was when he picked me up, and I go to bed a happy girl.