Friday, March 25, 2005

Wednesday Afternoon Theatre

The following is a small narration. To make it even more exciting please use the following voices in your head while you read the green and orange parts.
Green = A nice dull Ben Stine impression - think "Bueller...Bueller..."
Orange = Let's do your best Marie Barone - you know, Raymond's mom

Have you ever been in a situation where a random -yet specific- question was thrown out to you and those in the room you are in? Something like, "Introduce yourself and tell us ONE colour you really hate."

The circle of folks begin their responses. (cue party music)

"My name is Ophelia and I can't stand beige."
"My name is Prudence and I detest lavender."
"Hi, I'm Eliza and I am not a huge fan of turquoise."

Then comes this:

"I'm Ethel and.." "Ethel is my daughter, I'm Ursula and I know Prudence. We played polo together as children. And this is Armando, he's my husband."

(Armondo has sat in the same position for the last 15 minutes as if he were the lead in "Awakenings" [catatonic])

"um, I'm Ethel. I went to Westminster Central Park three years ago. It was right when they were building the new Greek pavilion and I lived right there you know. And..." "And she was there when the Prime Minister of Guava Imports was there to bless the Guava crops near by." "well yeah, I was there, and then, but I lived right there you know? And then the Prime Minister of Guava Imports came to bless the crops and he had his Ambassador of Roots and Shoots with him and well if you all remember that was when the Ambassador got sick."
- -tiny side bar- - this is when pretty much everyone in the room began to look around at each other in an uncomfortable "where are the exits?"- way, a slight pause and then...
"Well he got sick, came home and DIED! You remember how he DIED? Yeah, it was right then and I was there then, and then he DIED!"
--well o.k. then, moving right along--
"She was, she was right there when it was happening. You know -when the Ambassador got sick and DIED! Strange huh? Yes, well, like I said I'm Ursula, and she's my daughter and, what was I supposed to hate?"

That was my party last night. Dang if I don't know how to throw 'em! Call me if you ever need a good getting-to-know-you game. Then again, perhaps there are folks we just don't want to know too much about. ugh!

originally posted in 2005. reposted today because I am having a few tech-difficulties. enjoy the rerun!

add to sk*rt


chronicler said...

LOL!!!!!! It didn't quite play out that way completely because you missed the intro earlier in the evening. You were in the other room: Ethel cam in in her best Ben Stein imitation and shook hands with everyone. "Hi, I'm Ethel. I'm Ursula's daughter." End of intro. Confusion abounds. So when we got to that section of the room, most of us had an inkling of how it would go. It was nice to know that they were having the same trouble as most everyone else in reading the catalog. Can you find the gazornemplatte for me???? I can't read this thing. Me: well isn't it in english? Not to be snarky at all but they were quite entertaining in their own right.

s'mee said...

I have to admit that if the family room weren't so dimmly lit perhaps things in that area would have gone better. But when you're as romantic and alluring as hubby and I, well you just tend to leave the lights as low as possible at all times! (Maybe if I knew a good electrician who could install some pot lights?)

chronicler said...

I don't know, you know what they say, a good electrician is hard to find! Besides, I think the room could've be as bright as the sun, and with a portion of the audience it still wouldn't have mattered.

s'mee said...

LOL! You're killin' me smalls!