Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The one where Rory gets hit by a deer

Remember that one? You know, Gilmore Girls? Rory borrows someone's Jeep and is on her way to the hoity toity school for girls and gets hit by a deer. She's late, tries to explain, but no one will believe that a deer ran into her instead of the other way around.

I believe! Because, as it happens, this has happened to me. Well not an actual deer, but with birds; and a polar bear dog.

The first incident was back in the mid 80's. I was driving with my sister in law and all of our kids (remember that post a few days ago that talked about no actual laws about seat belts yet. yeah, back then.) We were just about home and were headed up a small hill. I'm checking out the clear afternoon sun and there just above the horizon was a flock of birds. And I notice one just drops out of the sky and WHAP! onto the windshield. I was horrified! I actually screamed a little as did my sister in law.

Meanwhile all the kids were completely fixed! There on the windshield was the splattered remains of a huge black bird, um, spread eagle as it were. It just laid there and the kids were digging it. So in an effort to rid the vehicle of the flattened feathered friend from above, I turned on the wiper blades in hopes of swishing him off the shield.

Swoooouuuuuushhhhh. Swishuuuuuuuugggggrrrrrrr. Great. The blade took the first swish and then grabbed the wing and kind of drug it back and forth a few times before jamming and stalling with the bird now 'mid-flight' in the center of the window. The smeared bird left an indelible imagine from then on.

We were out in the desert when an owl ran head on into the car. Actually hit the front hood, bounced and smacked the windshield and then bounced again, leaving a dent in both the hood and the driver's side mirror.

On a trip through Arizona we had to pull over to pick a bird who decide to commit suicide by hurling himself into our grill beak first. Not a wise choice. But a danged good show for the other folks who were at the rest stop.

I can go on, but I will switch gears and talk about another animal. The dreaded Polar Bear Dog.

One dark and still night my son and I were driving into Bountiful Utah. The snow had covered the fields on both sides of the freeway with a pristine blanket of white. The full moon light reflected off the snow and lit up the scenery. It was about 2:00 in the morning. We both saw the "animal" out in the field and as we began to make the turn in the road we saw the animal jump up and begin to run towards the road. This was a rather large animal. To me, it looked like a polar bear. Being in Utah, I decided that it could not be a polar bear and determined it must be a dog. A huge, mammoth, white, polar bear dog!

As we reached the bend in the road the stupid dog jumped the fence and headed straight for us. THUMP! Oh my heck. This idiot dog ran into us! Yes, into the wheel well from the side. Into us! It was terrible! It was disgusting! It was dogicide! No note, not completely empty box of worm medicine, just a "nose" left where the lug nuts are. Not pretty.

So I believe. I believe Rory.

I'll leave the post on how many times I have seen random dead cows for another day. But trust me, there's a post!

add to sk*rt

1 comment:

chronicler said...

Oh man! When we got to the third bird, I just knew there had to be a cow in here somewhere!

I had not heard the polar bear dog story before but hey, with you, I was surprised to see there wasn't mention of a shamu story. ;-)