Friday, May 19, 2006


I just deleted a huge long detailed post about how I have just been released from my calling at church (Relief Society Education Counselor [sort of like being VP in the Ladies Group at church]) and how that has kept me busy the last few weeks. I rethought that post and deleted it.

Suffice it to say I am HAPPY about the release, although today I woke up to the knowledge that I actually do have a deep love for these sisters, literally crazy or not, the inactive ones and the ones who are mean and ornery. The one who speaks broken English but goes out of her way to give me a hug each week. The one who glares at me each time I go out of my way to say hello to her. The older gal who I just adore for no reason other than she rocks the Kasbah. I even love the one who caused me the most headaches and the ward the most trouble. I have tried to explain to others that if this woman were a broken clock, she would still be right twice a day.

I have a testimony of missionary work in the sense of finding the lost sheep and bringing them back into the fold, as it were. I never thought it would be as easy as writing a genuine letter, sending an invitation, or just asking someone to actually come to church. But it is. I know that not everyone who is needy wants to be helped, and that someone who has everything, who is generous and giving, also needs to be given to.

I am saddened that others do not share my enthusiasm at the work, nor my disappointment with our current failures. One of my biggest heartaches comes from what I term "Adult Apathy". I believe it will be the catalyst for the weeding out in the last days, however far off or soon one presumes those days are.

I am so glad for the two really good friendships I have made. One to a sister who never sees ill and another who always, always feels the Spirit and follows what she feels. They have taught me much.

Most of all I am even more grateful for Thor who seems to always give excellent advice, knows when to push me and when to help me refrain from "doing". I still manage to mess up on a regular basis, but he always finds a way to help me get through. He is wise and more patient than I when it comes to other people. He also knows when to stop and he is trying to teach me that timing as well.

So, for now and probably a tad bit longer i am without a calling. So I hope to use the extra time around the house and getting more things done. I have a commission from a young family to do a temple painting so I want to get that started soon as well. I am excited about having time to breathe, some alone time and some time, hopefully, to build on my talents.

But first, I need to tackle that bedroom! Did I tell you Thor finally put down the wood in the hall floor? WAHOO! The front of the house is filled to the brim with books and other "stuff" that was in the hall on book shelves, etc., so I have a lot of work cut out for me.... yikes!

add to sk*rt


chronicler said...

So that was the sigh I heard! Enjoy your alone time. It won't last. I was listening to a talk by Wendy Watson from Women's conference a few years ago. She said this:

Now that we have laid aside six constraining beliefs, I'm captivated with Mormon's words: "Lay hold upon every good thing" (Moroni 7:19). When we "lay hold" upon something, it becomes real to us. There is an implied permanence, a focusing, an embracing, and a making something your own.

What happens when we find a good thing but just touch it lightly?

What's the impact of persistent superficial reading of the scriptures?

What's the impact of a tenuous testimony?

What's the impact of service that is done to be seen of women?

What happens when we join the Church in the same way that some of us join a gym, only to show up sporadically but without any real sense of membership, commitment, involvement, or working?

What happens when year after year we do not lay hold upon the good things but continue to touch them only lightly?

After a while, we may find that we are crying, but not unto the Lord. We may find that we are not losing our life in his service and for his sake and thus finding our lives (Matthew 10:39) but rather that we're just losing our life, losing our heart's former desires, losing our stamina, and sadly, even losing our interest in good things.

Discouragement and despondency may set in, and we may wonder what is wrong when we are "doing everything right," even though lightly.

We're doing good things, aren't we? Yes, but without depth, without passion, without deep love, without vigor, without commitment, and without laying hold upon the good things. And thus the joys that come from laying hold upon good things continually elude our feeble grasp. Thinking we have "been there, done that" with good things, we may move from touching lightly good things to playing around with good things to taking for granted good things to even making fun of good things. (Wendy Watson, search diligently in the light of Christ, Women's Conference 1997)

Thus Mormon's words are rivetingly true: "Lay hold upon every good thing."

It is part of an excellent talk that we should all read on occasion. It would help us all become better missionaries and people in general.

s'mee said...

o.k. first of all, it's like what? 11:oh something at night and you, missy, get up early in the manana and need your anti-cranky sleep.

Second, you amaze me with the way you can just pull out these fabulous talks from your memory. I hear them and store the principle, but forget who said it and when. Thanks for always saying the perfect thing. Even if it is via another's voice. Perfect. Thanks.

Rebecca said...

Oh, I love wood flooring! Have fun in your home time. And thanks for praying for Aaron. He almost died again yesterday.

s'mee said...

Rebecca, no worries about it. I learned years ago that prayer is probably one of the few things worth our time, and it really gets the job done. The hard part is waiting.

About the flooring...I am loving it. We had the family room and front room done earlier and now down (what now looks like a bowling alley) hall. Thor got us an IRobot and we just schedule it to run during the middle of the night while we sleep....(Angels singing in the background) it is amazing! No more sneezing to allergies! That and it kind of freaked me out when I saw how much dirt and dust bunnies we weren't vacuuming up everyday. (oh my) I damp water mop once a week and I am done. yippi!