Sunday, February 05, 2006

when's recess?

Chronicler had mentioned that, with death, lessons come.

Since the whole "Z.Z.Top" funeral way back in September, I have been in school. Some things I have learned so far:

1.If you try hard enough you can put the "fun" in a funeral.

2.Just when you think you can't do enough, someone will remind you of that very thing; and others, who will remind you that you continue to let them down on a daily basis.

3.Sometimes you need to just let it go, let it be, walk away.

4.There is more than one way to skin a cat, or in otherwords, there is always a loop hole that can be utilized legally.

5.Women can be mean, snarky, and unforgiving.

6.Men can backup a snarky wife in the most ridiculous of ways, especially when you consider the situation at hand.

7.Some people are just too sweet to notice anything other than the hearts of others and the needs hidden therein.

8.Good intentions can get in the way of justice and "doing what's right and necessary".

9.People are idiots.

10.There are times when the church must step in and times when the church should just say "no".

11."Open mic night" isn't always a good thing when folks are grieving.

12.One should never ask someone to pay for final expenses if they are unwilling to have that same person participate in the service.

13.Taking care of your own is a good thing.

14.Sometimes it's your own fault and suing for damages, pain and suffering will only cause more damage, pain and suffering.

15.You don't have to be old to have lived a full life.

16.You don't have to be young to have died too soon.

17.Accidents happen. Laws of the universe can be broken and results can be devastating. Sometime it is not God's will, but His mercy that is in control of who lives and dies.

18.Taking the high road is much better than proving your point.

19.Saying you are sorry for something someone else did is sometimes the only way to help.

20.Telling someone what needs to be said isn't always easy, but at times quite necessary.

21.Sometimes telling a lie is more merciful than describing truth.

22.Not all traditions are true doctrine. Not all policies are written in stone.

23.Telling your dear friend what a common enemy thinks of them is more hurtful than what the common enemy said in the first place.

24.There is no need to shoot the wounded. There is no need to exalt the esteemed.

25.Music can indeed sooth the savage beast.

26.Sometimes compassion hurts more than neglect.

27.Neglect can be the perspective of a foreign judge.

28.No one is perfect. No one has telepathy, or crystal balls that are accurate. No one can change the mind of another without the willingness of both parties.

29.Grudges weigh more than forgiveness.

30.You can not argue with those of limited mental aptitude.

31.You need to remember that if it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and acts like a dog, chances are -it's a dog.

32.What is correct and right for me isn't necessarily correct and right for you, and vice versa.

33.Leaders make mistakes. That's o.k.

34.People say things they never would when they are under stress.

35.Some folks can have closure without a viewing.

36.Little children do not always benefit by being involved in family or ward matters, sometimes it is better to ere in hopes of keeping children innocent a day longer.

37.Just because you have a special talent does not mean everyone needs to see it (hear it, experience it, etc.).

38.Even if someone just had a Priesthood Blessing yesterday, if they ask for another one, give it to them. In other words, you can never have too much Priesthood in a home, a hospital room, a car, the grocery store, yada yada yada.

39.You just can't please some people.

40.Some people only need a smile, a hug, a wink to get through the day. Even when they have the greatest burden.

41.Misery sometimes needs company.

42.I am supposed to be learning something from all of this. I will be a better person for all this learning when it is done. There will be a much harder lesson to learn in the future. All of this is for my personal benefit.

43.Hormones create a huge vacuum.

44.I miss my cat. (but please don't get me a new one)

45.Listening to the Spirit can be a good thing, a weird thing, and actually tick other people off because "you got there first"...go figure.

46.I prefer "she/he just passed" to "she/he just passed away." (think: "she just passed...her life's test." past away makes me feel like they just faded and went some vague place at some point.)

47.I have a good and wise husband. I have good and wise friends.

48.Sometimes one can actually look forward to abdominal surgery as a vacation from reality.

add to sk*rt


Susan M said...

Sounds like you've been having a rough time.

There have been times I've thought longingly of the hospital. You just lie there and people bring you food, magazines, you don't have to do a thing.

chronicler said...

That one about your husband may get printed and come back to haunt you! (just joking)

I hope and pray for you daily. Mostly that you don't get stuck with the next level calling you're currently working in.

And yes, there is no gift this year, as yours on Satuday is gift enough.

Good list. Number 9 and 34 are my fortes!

Lolly said...

Oh the wisdom contained in this list... thanks so much for sharing it! Interesting how it applies to message boards too...

Bek said...


I can only imagine what spurred this list. As I read it I was able to think of the things that each number related to in my own life and I got very scared for you!

Sorry things are rough. I hope that you are able to get a mental break soon!

s'mee said...

Thanks so much ladies! It has been very hard, WEIRD!!!, and actually I cannot see an end in sight. We still have an elderly sister who is VERY ill and near death for about two months, two other sister this week found out they have breast cancer, one in both breasts, and currently have two infants with pnuemonia! No one would believe this if it weren't happening to them! I really am going bonkers, but can still see humour and light, so all is well in Zion! :> (which makes me think of that scripture that reads: "wo to those who say "all is well in Zion!...." yikes! lol)

Bek said...

Wow...well if it helps, my mother in law just finished her LAST chemo treatment (we are hoping). She had two kinds of breast cancer-one on each side. Looking back, there were so many people that helped all of us....and it seemed like we would never make it to this side. You are doing a great service by being available to all the need you.

Happy Birthday! Also, I am an ASL interpreter too! I was certified before my mission, were I learned BSL and now I just know a little bit of each. I too find myself running into deaf people ALL THE TIME!! I am rusty though. How did you learn?

s'mee said...

Thanks it does help and I will let the other gals know about one more surviver!
Actually I taught myself ASL manual alphabet as a teenager so I could talk to a girl friend (hearing, but like a "secret code"), and later a few signs so I could talk to my kids through glass, across fields, in church, etc. Then Sister Missionaries came looking for interested people who would learn so they could fellowship deaf in our area. I signed up and began learning about 100 signs per day for about 6 weeks. The Spirit really worked me over and I interpreted at a stake meeting at that 6 week point and new I would be doing this for quite some time. I made plenty of mistakes. Mostly to nerves, but the Spirit really pulled me along through the whole process. After that I was dropped off at deaf parties and socials without a way to get home and without knowing anyone there, and without an interpretor. You learn a lot in those situations!

After a while I applied for a job with the school distric I thought I would never get because I am not certified. Turns out no one who applied was certified ("what's certification?") 12 applicants, all working as interpretors already, and out of them I got the highest scores. Turns out certification in our area is a moot point. There is such a need, and no one to fill it. The folks from the city with certs do not want to travel 4 hours each way per day and the money wasn't incentive to move. I eventually worked full time and made $9,000 annually. It is a crime to the deaf community. I did, however, what most other folks I my shoes did not: I DID NOT work in situations where my skills were too limited, nor did I work as an interpretor in legal or medical situations. I refused, but there are those who do it all the time and it scares me to think of what can happen. Any way, there you go. Now, mostly, I only sign at stake conference and other church related things.

Bek said...

I agree that it is hard to find enough interpreters. I was that sister missionary in England DYING for someone to come to class and learn BSL so they could support our new deaf memebers.

Most of my time as a missionary was spent interpreting in dr. appointments, driving exams and at police stations!!! I also interpreted in the temple (talk about not being qualified) and now use my skills to shock and amaze the primary kids when it is my turn for sharing time!!!!

The Deaf School is just a few miles from out home and I several of my friends are teachers there. :-) A few weeks ago I was n Walmart and saw someone signing in BSL. My jaw hit the floor! Turns out they were from England, on vacation. We had a nice chat and I realized I remembered more then I thought!!

Amira said...

I know I'm a few days late, but Happy Birthday! I hope you had a good day- and that things in general start looking up.

s'mee said...

Bek, any chance that is CSDR? Some of my "kids" went there after they graduated out of our program. If so, we are (living)very close.

Amira, Thanks! That's pretty cool, and yes, had a WONDERFUL day...see the above post for gory details! : >