Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Life on the Riviera!

Holy smokes. Travel. ugh.

I have a few friends who think that while I am away with Thor my life is pretty danged glamorous. Well sometimes it is. Sometimes the rooms are beautiful and the service astounding. Sometimes the settings are glorious and interesting, the people and cultures fascinating. Sometimes the rooms are just fine, nothing to write home about, however clean and fresh and as nice as they can be given the location or age of the facility. You get what you pay for. I get it. This round? Not so much.

Once again we are in the pretend world, Sodom and Gomorrah, Sin City, Ickyville. Ya'all know how much I love Las Vegas at its very base. You know, the creepy guys shoving porn in your hands and face as you walk by, the larger than humongous life video signs that advertise all manner of disgusting entertainment, the loud raucous noise the permeates your brain, the smoke, the excess, the adults acting like sophomoric frat boys on crack, the absolute abandon of your moral compass. The all around acceptance of denigration and vice that is Las Vegas! Yes, I love me some Vegas. I always look forward to the nuclear accident shower that one must take after leaving here.

Every once in a while we get a bad room, the weird decor or the funky vibe that screams "1962!"; this time, however, was creepy. The hotel is old, smokey (you could smell the smoke as you left the car at registration - outside, in the "fresh" air! It had years of cigarette smoke embedded into the plaster facade.) Bell hops or baggage handlers were surprised that we needed some help with the bags and had to scurry to find a trolley- which they had to bang down a short set of stairs because evidently there isn't a ramp. There isn't a handicap accessible ramp either (we noticed this in the restaurant also. If you need a wheelchair- no room at a table with a view of the pool! Oh no need to feel offended or slighted; the pool they brag about on the restaurant ads is now dry and surrounded by a lovely chain link fence and draped in a beige plastic tarp. Boxes and other paraphernalia included free of charge!) This place is extremely dated (seriously, they have those primary coloured posters of crayons, paint buckets, rainbows, and such from the mid eighties hanging on the walls, primary coloured furniture...even the hotel restaurant's logo is shedding appropriate tears. This place is a mess.) The unbelievably bad air brush job on the backsides of their requisite showgirls poster is obvious even to the poor sighted (one of the bare bummed beauties actually was missing the insides of her thighs, and well, part of her bottom...who edits these things? She looked like someone took scissors to her.) Historic shades of dark black and gray on the carpeting in the "traffic" areas remember the guests of years past! You get to register in a dark lobby via computer while angry workers yak about their boss, and of course our usual room with the view of the air conditioning units and ventilation systems.

The views, o.k. I get it. I'm not a princess, I can deal with the crappy (sorry, yes crappy!) views. What I am having a hard time dealing with is the lack of a window. The window is about a 4x5 and so filthy you can see the spots and smears from the other side of the room. Disgusting. The carpeting still had cellophane wrappers from the prior guests' I don't want to know what; and when I pulled back the sheet to crawl into bed, well, let's just say I don't have to be a CSI agent to know that someone had already been there. Vile.

The bathroom had a roll of toilet paper that had one use left on it. 3 Jr. High Gym towels and 1 bar of soap. The lamp shades, which yes, now I am just being WAY picky, were totally askew, as if someone had indeed worn them the night before. The room was a mess.

"No you may not switch rooms, we are booked. But we can have house keeping up there in the morning." Wow.

So- after sleeping on top of the bed all night- I call housekeeping in the morning and the gal responds to my request with "I have you as a new register, didn't you just check in last night?" "Well yes we did, however with no toilet paper, two small towels, trash on the floor, filthy windows and DNA evidence left from the previous guests on the bed linens, I just hoped we could get some fresh cleaning up here for the price we are paying for the room." "huff -- o.k. we'll send someone up." "Please let them know I will need everything changed from the top down, fresh towels and linens on the beds, including the spreads. Thank you so much." "mmmm-k. ma'am."

So I am here for about an hour and the housekeeper comes up, not happily so, but rather miffed she has to redo a filthy room while I stay and type away on my computer. Sorry ladies, I am not leaving this to you alone, you cannot be trusted.

My suggestion? Do not stay at the Riveira! * Well unless you want whatever was supposed to stay in Vegas to come home with you.

* Just FYI: The photos in the website must have been taken some time ago. Seriously, our room, the shops, the restaurant, the whole danged place looks nothing like the images on the web-page. Although they do seem to have the most graphic and disgusting in house entertainment! Andrew Dice Clay? Really?

add to sk*rt


The1stdaughter said...

How completely appalling! Ugh. Hotels can be really yucky to begin with, so why make it that much worse? I guess they figured they will have people coming no matter, so why spare the customer service? Yuck...note to self, never staying at The Riveira!

Robyn said...

Let's hear for Harry Ried's hometown! No wonder the President doesn't want to come stay/play.

I am creeped out by your description and, after hearing what a once hotel maid said about staying between the sheets, are surprised you didn't sleep in the car.

Local niece, here I come.

( And you wonder why the vegas tourism board won't hire you!)

S'mee said...

#1, Thor said during his meeting they understood why everyone was book here: Someone in Vegas cut a deal on(in) a hotel THAT IS GOING OUT OF BUSINESS! The workers wages were cut, job were cut, everything is done on the cheap until the final blow of the ax hits the consumer in the neck. Great. : [

Robyn, ok, spill I NEED to know about inside info! I told Thor I have an order in for a hotel sack (a personal sleeping bag, that can be sterilized, you crawl into before you get into bed. Think with Snuggie *bag* with a hoodie, only face and hands exposed). I'm SO done.

watergirl said...

Ew! I really don't like that city. I have friends from there that say I can't judge the city by the strip but that is all I have experienced and I hate it! On the way home from Christmas, we decided to stop and take the kids to the aquarium. On our way out we just drove the strip. Bad decision! I was stuck next to a truck with a huge pornographic sign and we kept hitting red lights! I am grateful Jaden was glued to his Leapster game and Caitlyn was reading. I jumped on the hotel's website. The pictures don't look like anything you explained! Very tricky!

S'mee said...

Watergirl,oy. Yup everyone I know who lives here defends Vegas "Don't judge Vegas by the strip!!!" I get it, you can live in the world and not be of the world. But for those of us who do not live her, who must stay on the strip e-gads and then some. You literally can not avoid the porn it is everywhere, the filth is disgusting. The analogy of "Look SHINY!!!!" all the while the vile base denigration is lurking behind all the glitter and pretty lights. It could not be more clear: All this "pretty" is there to drag you down to the depths of hell. Living on the fringe of hell, yea, I'm sure it's great. I am just glad I don't have to.

ilovejazz said...

Hmmm. As a native Nevadan, I will say that Vegas in no way represents what Nevada is all about. I'm frustrated because many people only know the Vegas part of the state. There are good people in Vegas, and good parts of the city, but much of it has become a filthy, uncontrolled mess.
You and Thor need to get one of those Winnebago things for local trips. Then you know the place is clean!

S'mee said...

Jazz, yes, Navada good Vegas bad, and unfortunately Vegas to me means the strip or any part of the city that still has the billboards and truck/taxi/whatevers that advertise activities that I wouldn't want to explain to anyone under 21. I remember your place out in Overton as being amazingly beautiful and as close to "Mayberry" as anywhere on earth. Picturesque and homey, so no,nothing like Vegas.

AS far as that winnabago thing, well you read Thor's if we can just find a way to pay for one! : )

As a side note, there are many times when I want to chat with you on FB, but there isn't a comment button! So know that although I can't reply or comment (or even "like") I read your page and miss you! hugs, and I hope you get custody of the dress soon!

The Brownie Branches said...

Amen Sister in-law. It surely wasn;t the best stay. Sorry you had it worse on the 4th floor.
Sarah and I must be desperate! HA HA. Don't get out of town to much these days.

Anonymous said...

It's looking like that you have a great time at there!
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