over heard...

man: "...well he and his brother own the place over on Waterman. I"ve never eaten there, but we have them bring in food from time to time at the meetings; and well, no matter how hard you try, you just can't mess up Italian food."
woman: " um yeah. You got that right."

...there was this kitten, in a tree...

Back in the late 80's, or maybe it was the early 90's (who cares?) I was busily trying to be a mom and also help out at church. One particular evening I had taught a class for what was then called "Homemaking Night". I don't remember the class, or even what I taught, what I do remember is a television commercial.

Our church building was fairly new, still very fresh and pretty, and the parking lot was still smooth and with brightly painted white lines between the spaces. We had parking lot lamps to illuminate the area during the dark, but they had been installed incorrectly somehow and didn't work. We also had large convenient spaces with a ramp for the handicapped near the door to the kitchen. The ramp was located between the spaces that had been marked with the familiar blue lines and the wheel chair icon at the base. Two signs were installed at the curbside indicating the special spaces. The ramp, however, remained the same deep fresh black of the asphalt parking lot. The long slope from the curb to the lot also had both its' side edges sloping sharply down, also unpainted and remaining black.

I was the last of the women that night to leave. I had assure the other women that I had only to finish packing up my boxes and bags and I would also be gone. I made several trips back and forth from the building unloading my things at the curbside. I locked the building and went to my car which was parked on the far side of the building. I drove it around to the handicap space and carefully backed it to the curb. I popped the trunk door up and began to pack in the boxes.

By then the hour was late, the night was dark, everyone had gone and I was pooped. I was glad to shut the latch on the trunk. I took my keys out of my pocket and began to walk to the front seat and go home. WOAH! I stepped on a rock and began to lose my balance. I felt the pain of the twisting and tearing of the tendons as I rolled my right foot on the rock. I quickly put all my weight on my left foot to try to not fall when, again I stepped on a rock of some kind, snapped the innards of my left foot and with the pain fell completely to the ground.

It only occurred to me as I laid there crying and laughing at the same time that I hadn't stepped on rocks at all. I had stepped onto the side of the unpainted handicap ramp; and with the angle being so sharp and, with my carelessness and tired thinking, I had not only broke my right foot with the angled pressure, but did the same thing to my left foot immediately afterward.

"I'VE FALLEN, AND I CAN'T GET UP!!!" I started to laugh to myself. I bet this looked hilarious. I am a visual person, I could see myself going down inside my head. This is hysterical! I have turned into that crazed old lady in the commercial! There weren't cell phones back then I was STUCK! I was truly wondering, "what the heck?" and "how am I going to get home?" I did a commando crawl to the front of the car. I rolled over onto my ample backside and reached to unlock and open the door. There in the dark I found the steering wheel and pulled myself up into the floorboard and eventually into the seat. (I have to tell you, if this happened today...well they would find my bleached bones laying there until someone came to my rescue. I was fat back then also, but I was in much better shape! 5 kids will do that to you!) By this time my legs, ankles and feet began to swell and throb. I could feel my feet tighten within my shoes and my pant legs beginning to shrink around the base of my calves.

I took a few minutes to breathe (and go to my happy place) and tried to start the car. The pain of stepping on the gas was incredible. Normally, the drive home would have been about three minutes. Because the pain was so intense I was only able to tap the breaks and gas pedal. I didn't want to go to fast because the thought of stopping made me cringe. It took me fourty five minutes to get home and I just rolled slowly through the lights, red, green or yellow; I didn't care if I got hit by a semi truck...the pain would at least go away during my coma.

Thor was waiting for me as I drove up. I honked on the horn until he came out of the house. I burst into tears as I tried to move my legs. (Why is it we do that? We can handle things until someone we trust can help is there and then we just fall apart and say "FEEL SORRY FOR ME!") Thor literally drug me out of the car and half carried me in to the house. I was so swollen he had to cut my pants off. Needless to say I am glad the kids were asleep by now! I decided nothing was broken and it was not worth waking up the kids and driving the hour + to the doctors, I could wait until morning.

I crawled around the house on my hands and knees and had to have Thor pick me up to use the potty and to help get me back down on my knees. Going to bed was another story, the sheet on my ankles was too much pressure, it hurt like the dickens, and I knew I was in trouble. I didn't get too much sleep that night.

The next morning Thor packed up all the kids and then I began the crawl out to the car. I got about half way down the front walk to the driveway when the neighbor drove by, slowed down for a good look, waved and drove on. (yes it's me, I am on the ground and crawling. It's a new thing in our house.) That same neighbor is our current Bishop's wife, and yes she brings this story up on occasion, ah good times!

The doctors and nurses couldn't believe that I had actually done this to myself and that it had been via a handicap ramp! The x-rays showed that I had torn all the ligaments and tendons in both ankles. The doctor asked me which leg hurt worse, "my left", "ok., we'll cast that one up. The other one will get a walking cast boot." So there I was with a hard cast on one foot and a gigantic boot thing-y on the other; plus crutches. Very attractive. I looked like the walking wounded. All I need was my head wrapped in gauze, a drummer on one side and a flag waver on the other. I could have been the piper in the middle. E-freaking-gads.

Sunday came and I was at church. The questions began, and for six weeks, everyone I met took one look at me and asked "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" After about week one, I began to make up stories. "I fell out of a plane and my 'shute didn't open." "I was trying to save a baby in a burning building. The only way was to jump out of the third story window." "Skiing the five black diamond coarse." "My repelling rope broke half way through my decent." It got to be fun, and I actually had some people going. Other people, the ones who know me, figured it was probably something like trying to commit harikari on a handicap ramp... that's something I would do.

By the way, just last year about this time, they finally got around to painting the blue stripes on the edges of the ramp and outlining the top surface. Oh, and the lamps are finally working also.

woohoo moon!

awesome moon 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Wow! Is this cool or what? Just now, about 8:15 or so I went outside and looked out over towards our high school and check out the moon! It has this enormous rainbow circling about it! So pretty! I wish you could see it in the photo the way we are viewing it now. My little camera has very low tech-y skills, but trust me, it's pretty!

awesome moon 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Here it is "up close", wow!

Mount Vernon

DC 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

The last day of our stay we set out for Mount Vernon. Located about 16 miles south of D.C., not only was it a nice drive, but pretty as well. Upon arriving you make your way to a small cottage like ticket booth, gain entrance and make the short hike up to the residence around out buildings which include a gift shop (of course), the slave quarters, and a historical restoration room where you can read all about how the estate was brought back to it's original status. It seems that the original house was George's great grandfather's home and made it down to him after his own father's demise. He built on to the original house, adding not only upper levels, but the surrounding buildings and landscaped gardens, farms, etc. For his time, he was considered quite innovative and clever.

Difficult to see in the photos unless you click to view them larger, is the side of the home. Made from pine, the era dictated that wealth and status would glean a more expensive building material such as stone block. George, although quite wealthy, (consider that the dining room he added on was larger than most homes during that time) decided a better way to achieve the look without the investment of dollars, would be to engage craftsmen. The craftsmen would carve the planks of pine so that they resembled carved stone with grout lines. After the house was assembled the pine was covered with three coats of fresh white paint mixed with sand to give the appearance of stone. This was a technique that many used for the front facades of their homes, George had the entire building and it's pillars, etc. covered this way to carry the illusion even further than the neighbors.

DC 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Like I said, it's difficult to see in the photos, but it was a pretty good trick. Inside the home George eventually did the same faux techniques to fool his visitors. Pine paneling was installed throughout the home. What wasn't painted with the latest colour of paint was faux finished to resemble rich walnut. Tricky guy.

All in all the grounds were lovely and the view of the river -amazing. George prided himself in his being a farmer and the grounds reflect his passion. Nothing was left to chance. In later years, after his death, the land and it's buildings fell to his nephew and later to other relatives and in 1858 (i think) the Ladies in town said "enough!" Years of visitors and curiosity seekers had done a lot of damage and the entire estate was in disrepair. They gathered their purses and purchased the estate for $200,000.00 and began restoration.

Today it continues. 80% of the original wood is still part of the buildings, etc. Every year more and more of the original furnishings are purchased, leased, or on loan from the owners and placed according to their first intended use in the home. Currently the Ladies of Mount Vernon are busy little bees adding an upscale hotel, museum and other attractions such as restaurants, etc. There are at least three gift shops with everything from nickel and dime souvenirs to high dollar replicated china and silks. These ladies mean business in all it's dementions. They actually have a food court loosely based on the design of George's six sided barn; and the last entry hall you will see as you begin to "leave" has a marble inlay map of the entire estate.

My only suggestion to the ladies would be to visit either DC or SLC Temple Square and study the tour guides. Although it ran smoothly, the guides had a tendency to talk over one another and often you would hear the same information in two different stops, missing pertinent information in others. Still a really nice day.

Please click on the "Mount Vernon" at the top of the post. It will lead you to the official page where you can take a virtual tour of the grounds and especially the interior of the house (where, byw, you are not allowed to photograph). Click out the pop up buttons to get more info and check out the VIVID colours that were the popular rage! Woohoo!

a view from our nation's capital...

DC 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

(cue "Hail to the Chief") We were told that, indeed, the very day we arrived was almost the peak of the blossoms. So when I woke up the first morning I went for a walk on what was described on virtually every form of media, "THE DAY". Yup, lots o' cherry blossoms on lots o' trees. I took the liberty (snicker) of snatching up all kinds of purty pictures of them. And, for all the MAJOR hype they give these truly exquisite trees, it is unfortunate that the bulk of them surround the part of the inlet that is encircled by monuments.

"But why?" you ask, "would that be a problem? Most of the tourists and residents would find that to be a central location and convenient for viewing!" Well, dear tourist, for those very reasons. You see for every blossom on a tree there are an equal and thensome person count; resulting in the perfect opportunity to take out pretty much 68% of the junior high school spring break tour kids along with their 1-15 ratio of chaperones; plus the other spring break tourists; and the folks such as Thor and I who were booked to experience this autobotanical treat whilst learning more about the bin-niss. This mathematical equation results in a gazillion people all trying to view the same trees in the same spot. Yikes-ola!

I kind of wish these trees were everywhere. There are a few scattered here and there, however, they tend to be a tad more spectacular along the "lake" crowded against each other and reflected in the waters thereon and framing said monumental attractions. I was fortunate enough to be staying in a hotel where the capital was a block from us. There were enough trees there to get the sensation of the "holiday", however, I must admit, even being in a tourist trolley (yup, actually did that) and riding rather quickly by the trees while viewing them from street distance...still very pretty.

One thing you learn about DC is that it is a walking town. Everyone walks and they walk everywhere. That being said, the traffic is horrendous! It is in a constant state of "jam" just about 24-7 during this particular week. If you are in a car, understand that you will be in that car and make about as much ground length distance/time as if you were walking. The smart people in this town ride bikes, scooters, or BIKES. Or the subway; which rocks. The deal is this: There are so many things to see that every hotel lists itself as being located "within walking distance of the mall, complete with it's museums and government buildings!" They never tell you that the mall is 87 miles long and the government buildings and museums aren't all lining its' edges, but in fact can be a block or two, or five, this direction or that; and walking can mean walking all day and then finishing up your day with a $65.00 cab ride back to your hotel which is now not within walking distance. It's like tourist crack. You go to one building and then you just keep going and going and thinking to yourself it is fine. Your legs don't register just how far you have gone. Your brain takes over. Your camera is overwhelmed and under loaded. Just about the time you think you are getting to the good stuff, you find more, walk more, need more batteries. I took 239 photos in one afternoon. I mean, really people, crack.

Then there are the other -"further from the hotel"- must sees. Arlington, Old Alexandria, Dupont Circle, Falls Church, Foggy Bottom, Chevy Chase (seems to be a theme these days), Mount Vernon and well you can actually make a day trip out of going up to Baltimore, Down to Virginia, or even out to Altlantic City like our friends did. Personally I do like to take the car out and drive. I love to walk around the National Cathedrial (where all are welcome...even the LDS missionaries I saw there!). If you ever get the opportunity I suggest an hour or two there...very cool. Dupont Circle (area) is also awesome. Most of the Embassies are there, along with gorgeous homes, shops and restaraunts. The Temple is near Chevy Chase, also a beautiful neighborhood. And, although I did not get an opportunity to "go in", I finally found Gallaudet, while Thor found every other major University in the tri-state area. Go somebody! I think one of them had a turtle as a mascot, and then there was George Mason(? - you cannot believe how many "george" things are here...nuts, Georgetown- named for the king, not the president...go figure.) who was in a final four thing.... I am in unfamiliar territory here so I am going to stop; but it was HUGE for all the people we met who lived there.

It is obvious from reading the above, history is not my thing. I enjoy it, I am fascinated by it while I am in it's presence. But it's not my thing and no, I don't remember dates, or names. Events? Yes, those I remember, the why, just not who shot whom and when they shot.

Been three times now and could still go back and enjoy myself more. DC. Darn Cool, for s'mee.

newsflash

o.k. So I am home and can review the DC adventure.

First off, I (we) missed conference and I can't tell you how bummed I am about that, so keep writing folks, I have to wait until Thursday before I can read the talks in full. I view it as punishment, (thank you Jewish heritage.)

Alrighty then. I have been to DC now, three times. Every time I go there is something I pick up on that I didn't know before. This time the big epiphany was trees.

DC 4-06
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

The east has trees, lot of 'em! I knew this the privious times I visited, but I just couldn't put my finger on why I was so caught up in the whole tree thing there.

I grew up in California. We have trees also. We have what some folks call the giants. You know, things like the sequoias or maybe the redwoods- big trees you can drive through. Heck we even name big trees here in CA after presidents, government offices and yes, General Sherman; which happens to be our biggest tree. So when I land and begin to see literally gazillions of trees lining the highway and these wooded areas between the houses and all over the place I was, to say the least, fascinated.

They kind of give me the creeps. These are the trees that you here about on the news. "A body was found near the trees along the bike path at Wildwood Park in Maryland today..." Or the kind of trees in those "Real Ghost Stories" t.v. shows. The kind with shadowy figures just out of your view that somehow are always out of focus. This is where Little Red Riding Hood disobeyed and got caught up in danger.

Another thing about these trees is they are all probably very old, but a teenaged boy couldn't hide behind one of them! These trees are seriously thin, like the size of your thigh if your lucky. I now understand what all the fuss over the redwoods is all about. I am used to seeing trees, average trees up in "my" mountains, that Thor could hide behind and never be seen or heard from again. We get reports of "lost families" or "lost troops of boy scouts" because some ranger forgot to look behind EVERY tree to see if someone was asleep as he walked by. It's possible. The trees out here, and I live in a desert, are huge compared to those on the east coast. Amazing. I am an idiot. I just now got this.

fly

o.k. So I am sitting in an airport terminal (#2 to be exact) and because we are here about 2 hours early, thought I'd write a blog entry. I will say in advance that because I am using the laptop and it's Thor's, I can't enable the spellcheck...so sorry about any spelling errors.

I have decided that although I really hate dropping 65,000 feet (heck I hate dropping 4 feet) flying is a must. If flying is a must then I prefer to go Jetblue. One reason is they have a "port" (is that what they call it?) in Long Beach aka John Wayne Airport. For S'mee this is a good thing. The drive from our house is faster than most of the other airports and the freeways we need to take to get there are usually less active than the other more crowded freeways, i.e. the 60, the 91...yikes.

Another reason is the parking is pretty hassle free. Easy to find number one. Have you ever tried to find the danged parking lots for the correct terminal at LAX? Holy Hannah! John Wayne has a small little lot and the shuttle drivers search you out and pick you up at your car, no hiking to the nearest tram stop. Yes, I am lazy when lugging heavy baggage and while toting my carry-on and wearing a wool coat in the rain. (and yes, I know that last sentence was really ugly, but I am way tired)

So here we are waiting for 8:00 to arrive. We went to bed last night at about 10:30 thinking we could get in a good night sleep and be fresh for the 3:30 wake up call and drive into town. Well it was as if we were both 10 years old and anticipating a trip to Disneyland for the first time. Neither of us could sleep a wink. Not even tired! UGH! So we laid there and watch Leno and even that didn't help. Up at 3:30 and in the car.

D.C. awaits our arrival. D.C. is always interesting. Thor never knows until sometime during a meeting or conference (which is it this time???) if he will get an invite to this party or that and if someone "important" will be there to glad hand or ask for money, support, or endorsements. Sometimes these rubber chicken dinners are actually a good time. Like the time he was invited to a company dinner (no expectations, just come and eat). Arrive at such in such Italian eatery and tell them the group name. At that he was led to the top floor of the building and sat down to an all night feed fest complete with strolling Italian musicians who led everyone in drinking songs after the meal was finished. There was the time we were entertained by the most amazing Flaminco dancers, so close to us you could feel the heat from their bodies and get an occasional splat of their sweat.

There was one breakfast here in SoCal when we were able to meet the (then) current governor. It sounds impressive until you realize the guy will never remember meeting you. That particular breakfast happens every year on the same day... it can be a recurring nightmare. For instance the years they had this little girl "entertain" us. She had a pretty good voice for a child, but let's get real. What the real important part was she had a very good stage mom who is somewhere as we speak trying, pushing that same sad little girl into pageants or American Idol for the preteen set. During one performance, not only did the little gal not know the correct words to our National Anthem (and the rockets did dare- to go up in the air...), but kept singing it over and over incorrectly. Follow that up by a horrendous rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings" sang personally to the awkwardly put on the spot governor who just stood there like "what the heck???". As the song was nearing it's tedious end the governor raised his hands over his head and waved them "in the air like he just don't care" and this gave her an opening to slide into another song.... the poor man had a look on his face like "SOMEONE STOP HER!!!" I kept waiting for Secret Service Agents to take her out, but your tax dollars were not at work that day. Two more 8 year old versions of country pop hits like "I'm Proud To Be An American" and pretty much everyone wanted to hurl.

Well gotta go, see you in D.C.!

knowledge and "useful" knowledge

With all talk about knowledge and how it can help one during life over at Conversation, it brought back a memory of mine.

Thor and I like to drive down to Santa Monica and hang out on a Friday or Saturday night at the 3rd Street promenade. It's a 3-5 block section of 3rd Street that is closed off to traffic making it a pedestrian strolling mall dotted with street performers and artists. Also, the stores along the street are trendy, high end and some are down right kooky. Bookstores have always been a place for us to hang out.

Way back in the day, before Barnes and Noble landed on the Promenade there was a large albeit funky bookstore with all sorts of nooks furnished with cozy chairs or couches for you to peruse a piece of interesting literature. Thor would usually pick up a book of sci-fi, religion, or a piece of history. S'mee? I went for the real crainial stuff one night: "How Do They Do That? Famous People explain how they do what it is they do that has made them famous!" It had all sorts of "famous" people in it, stunt riders, sword swallowers, and I picked it up and thumbed through it... "Chevy Chase -famous for prat falls down stairs." So I stood there for about a minute and read how he was able to throw himself down staircase after staircase and just stand right up and smile... unhurt. How does he do it???

Fast forward about ten years. A friend of mine had a child who was having to testify in a very nasty court case. I went along with her to the County Seat to lend moral support. About the third day in, the day I happened to be in a red skirt and jacket with my favorite red suede heels, the court broke for lunch and we all headed out for a bite. The court room we were attending was on the third floor. The building is one of those magnificent old buildings with high vaulted ceilings, marble floors and grand marble staircases that took competition away from the one elevator. The kind of elevator that has a older gentleman to open the accordion gated door and actually hand operate the half moon style floor directory as it jolted to a start and stop.

For whatever reason we were the last to leave and I was at the end of the 40 or so person pack descending the staircase. I started down the staircase and my pretty red kitten heel became caught on (what's the luck?) the small sandpaper strip that is glued (or not) onto the edge of the slippery marble step to keep one from falling down the stairs. Did I mention this was the second step from the top? And that the staircase was very long as to accommodate the tall ceilings and actual floor heights? My foot came out of the shoe part of the way and hung on for dear life in the toe. Well, (you could see this coming right?) I began to fall.

And fall I did. And as I fell I could immediately see that the folks ahead of me on the descending stairs were turning to look at me, and seeing me -in all my red blurry glory heading straight for them- saved themselves and got out of my way by squishing themselves up against the railings. As this started to happen my mind raced back to the book on Chevy Chase. It's weird how fast your mind can work! "All I do is commit and go with it knowing if I resist I will get more bruising and broken bones than if I just relax. So I get a beating and land safely, but abruptly at the bottom in a heap."

I was literally doing somersaults like Chevy Chase on his best SNL skit -all the way down, passing the normal folks as they watched in stunned horror. SPLAT! I landed right at the bottom, head down first with one leg hooked in the railing, my red skirt over my head, and the other leg twisted around my body, arms flailed against my crumpled shoulders, in dead silence.

My girlfriend ran down the stairs while everyone else just stood and held their breath. She gently pulled the skirt from my face (checking to see if I was still alive perhaps), and then tried to de-prezelize my limbs. I was crying, but more than crying I was laughing. I mean really! (hey I am laughing again just remebering it!) This had to be pretty amazing to witness. I was, as Chevy Chase predicted, bruised and beat, but otherwise unscathed. The major injury was my dignity and modesty, and my panty hose. They were obliterated to say the least. When the witnesses could see I had survived a lone voice was heard: "In the middle of a court house and not one attorney to witness this."

One gentleman went back up the staircase to retrieve my lone shoe, still faithfully hanging onto the safety tape by it's little heel. I replaced the shoe, fluffed up my dignity and went to lunch with the crowd.

I swear, if I ever meet Chevy Chase in person I will hug him for literally saving my life. All because I read a couple of sentences he wrote on how to survive falling down a staircase.

Agency equals Power (and Magic!)

I was chatting with two different women from our ward this afternoon (at 2 different times) about the situation we all face. Both are aware of the stats and both admitted to me that [they] felt like [they] were a part of the problem. I needed to explain my frustration is not with people who need help...whatever kind of help it may be; my frustration comes from those who continually beg for help and then argue why they cannot use what it is that has been given them. (Mental illness, retardation and other medical/physical conditions are obviously situations where one's abilities are not capable of total independance. This discussion is for those who have certain ability.)

Example: If my body is lacking fuel it begins to tell me in ways that should not be ignored. If I feed my body- the signals for fuel stop. When the tank gets low again I must feed it or the growling becomes loud and annoying and eventually destructive to my health. This is normal.

If my mind is lacking a chemical it begins to send messages that also cannot be ignored. Doctors prescribe medications to fill the lack and my mind stops sending messages. If or when the chemical is lacking again, more signals will be sent or the mind begins to growl loudly, I can be annoying, and eventually the lack of chemical will cause destructive health problems. Taking prescription medications is just fine as long as you keep to the doctors orders.

If my Spirit is lacking there are also signs that can be detected. We have been taught how to feed the Spirit. This too, is a constant maintenance that must be monitored or our Spirit begins to fade, we become too loud to hear it and eventually without proper fuel, the lack of Spirit in our life allows destructive situations. This is part of an eternal plan, use it or lose it.

If someone has provided food for me to take, I should eat it. If I am supposed to take medications, I should do so properly, I should read my scriptures daily.

When I approach someone and beg them for advice, I should try to be receptive to that which they counsel me. I should not counter every tool of help with an excuse for non-use of that tool. I need to understand that although some people do not share all their past woes or histories, they may have indeed experienced particular hardships, trials, addictions, whatever... and that I am not the only person to have this burden or trial.

I need to understand that throughout life there will always be hurdles to overcome and that I alone have control over what I think and do with my life. Others may influence me, but the entire responsibility along with all the rewards and consequences are mine alone to reap.

I get to choose how I will respond to every situation in my life.

The first woman I talked with is one of the folks that has a pattern of finding fault with everyone and every situation... including herself; and also has perfected the art of deflection. No matter what you give her to help her out she finds a reason why it will not work for her. There is always an excuse. She remains continually unhappy although she is healthy and has a beautiful family and home; much beyond what most women her age and circumstance have.

The second woman is on anti-depression medications and has been for several years. She is bright, happy, and productive. She provides generously for her own family and others. She contributes to the church and it's auxiliaries and is a compassionate leader. She does, however feel weird that she is on meds and "not normal". The fact is -she is more normal than the first gal who refuses to accept her life. The first gal is constantly on the look out for someone who has it better than she, easier than she, more than she. The result is the first gal is constantly unhappy.

The difference between these two women is that the first gives all of her power away while the second recognizes her power and uses it wisely. The second, while clinically depressed, chooses to feed her brain what it lacks and then chooses to "live, work, and do." She chooses to be happy even when her brain is telling her it is almost impossible. She chooses to believe she has the power to change her stars; to make her life the way she wants it to be.

The first gives her power to whomever is around at the moment. Without her power she cannot choose for herself, others choose how she will feel, think, live. "Prudence made me feel ugly!" "Brutus said we were dull!" She is niether ugly nor dull, but gives others her power and accepts what they tell her.

Satan's plan was for us to give him our power. He would get to choose for us. We wouldn't need to be bothered or depressed. We probably would not have had as many sicknesses or bills to pay. Perhaps all of our children would have been lovely and intelligent. But the Saviour preferred to allow us to be depressed, in debt and not as pretty as the other girls. He also allowed us to choose how we would respond when someone made an ugly remark, when our brain lacked a chemical, or when we see our children do better than we ever expected. We get to choose.

In the end that is a key. I can choose to feed what needs to be fed and accept my trials. I can choose to stick to the plan or I can choose to give my power to one who demanded it in the beginning. As for me, I guess on earth I am a rebel. I choose to choose. I choose to be happy.

Sandra's seen a leprechaun,
Eddie touched a troll.
Laurie danced with withches once,
Charlie found some goblin's gold.
Donald heard a mermaid sing,
Suzy spied an elf,
But all the magic I have known
I've had to make myself.
Magic -by Shel Silverstein

Happiness

I have been absent on the blog entries more than usual lately. Our ward's Relief Society President took about five weeks off, we are about half way through those five weeks, things have been...what's the word???

In her absence, the Bishop assigned the other counselor and myself as co-presidents. His exact words were: "In ____absence, you two are in charge. Find things that need to be done. Find a way to fix them. If you think I need to know about it, call me. Let me know if you want changes or if something comes up that a Bishop needs to know. DO NOT call _____. If she calls you, just tell her things are fine and ask about her trip. Change the subject. If she does not go out of town and you see her in the store, ignore the fact that she is still here. She will "be gone" for at least 5 weeks; here or otherwise. She knows I am putting you two in change while she is gone and she should expect things to run smoothly, but with changes while she is gone. You are not going behind her back or over her head. You two are in effect the President. Call me and report when you need to." And at that point my co-partner and I fell to our knees.

Well, let me start out by saying that originally our ward was the ward to live in. It is the ward from which all other wards sprang. It is now the ward in which the newly wed or nearly dead flock to because of the cost of housing. It is also the best place to "hide". Both in the church and out, if you don't want people to find you - this is a good place to move. It has the largest square mileage of any of the wards within the stake and happens to have what are described by those in the know as "fuzzy borders", meaning there is only one strong definitive street while the other borders are mountains or rivers or landmarks which constitute you have gone over the edge -so to speak into another ward.

Our ward, because of those fuzzy borders and economic structure has the largest number of members; and the largest number (per capita, percentage wise, and by the regular numbers) of inactive or less active members. This reality means that literally half of our Relief Society sisters are on a "letter only" visiting teaching list and there are about 15 or so "DO NOT CONTACT"s as well. An example: When I was in Y.W. our part of the stake was reorganized and formed into new wards and realigned ward borders. When this happened, our ward lost 5 active girls and gained 7 inactive, 3 of those were "DO NOT CONTACT"s. We gained no active girls. This was typical of what happened to our ward families also. Prior to the ward change the majority of the stake leaders came from our ward, now, our ward has so few leadership possibilities that only the bare minimum is represented from our ward. Our stake leaders are advised not to call stake leaders from our ward unless absolutely no one else can be called simply because their are so few capable or worthy to hold leadership positions within the ward itself. The ward cannot afford to lose what leadership it has to the stake.

Within our stake we have the largest number of families on Church Welfare and assistance, some of whom are considered "life time" recipients because of their circumstances. We also have the largest number of members who qualify for LDS Social Services (read: psychological counseling on a weekly basis). It is a daunting fact to read through the ward list and check off literally one half of our sisters as having clinical depression or other psychological problems, some who have been institutionalized for a period of time. When considering the spouses of these sisters you realize that there isn't a lot of support or understanding with most (not all) of the male counterparts in these homes. We also have brethren who have these same mental health issues.

For those of you who have read this blog from the beginning know that I used to write about how literally one half of our Primary was considered "special needs" due to mental illness or retardation. We are not talking about children who are behind or who struggle with ADD/ADHD. Add those to the mix and the numbers rise.

We have 178 sisters in our Relief Society. Out of our ward I can count 17 sisters who do not work to help support the family; 6 of those 17 are sisters over the age of 55- which brings the stay at home moms to 11. (If you are calculating... realize that most of our senior sisters also have to work to make ends meet.) Most of the folks in our ward who work, work with at least a 3 hour per day commute, some even more. This means both parents are out of the home for at least 11 hours each day. Some of these families decide that it is better to just "stay at work during the week" (meaning they find a hotel or other place to stay) because the commute doesn't equal the gas money spent or the hours just do not allow for the drive time. This means at least one parent without any physical contact with their children for at least 5 days a week. When the week end comes, usually it is clean up and chore time; time to finish all the stuff that didn't get done late at night during the week. Family time is still limited or consumed with other activity.

It has been a very sad battle for quite some time. I am not sure what to do except pray, and pray I do; hard. It is sad for me to face Sunday knowing the strife that comes with sisters who are so burdened with chronic illness, death, family struggles, depression, rejection, over work, neglect, poverty, and yes, the mentally ill -some of whom wreak havoc on a weekly basis.

Relief Society is, at best, a gamble each Sunday. Or as Forrest Gump's mother said, like a box of chocolates in that we never know what we will get. Even from some of the teachers, week to week is a stress filled surprise for me. I sit on the edge of my seat each week hoping, praying that no one says something hurtful or anti-doctrinal. Most weeks, we spend 20-40 minutes after the block trying to heal an offence that has occurred during a lesson.

I pray that the stress will be lifted from these women. I pray that the leadership we do have is strong enough to gently correct when need be and to lovingly forgive the same offenders over and over, and to encourage others to as well. I pray for inspiration and compassion. I pray for strength and endurance. I will be honest, I am weary of it all. I want normal again. I want easy. I want all the sisters to have what I think I have, happiness.

I am not sure what or why. I do know I am supposed to be learning something and that in the long run I will be thankful for all the things I am learning. My biggest fear is that somehow this is preparing me for even more frenzy and conflict. I am not good with confrontation and contention; had enough of that while I was a kid. But perhaps all that prepared me enough to go through this now and help balance the feelings in Relief Society. I sing to myself happy songs and try to find the positives in each week, and the motivations behind the hurt in the sisters. I come home most weeks and cry. But I keep going back because I know there is something I am not learning. I keep hearing in my head, "Be still, and know that I am God." It brings me a smile and hope and a warm feeling that I am not in this alone but with Heavenly Father, and it will be o.k.

It also brings to mind that only through the Fullness of the Gospel are we truly happy. Sometimes it is hard to be happy when surrounded by those who refuse to be or who are incapable of it. But being happy is mostly as gift we gift ourselves, an attitude, a goal of the heart and mind.

I am happy today for the sunshine, for the skies of gray or blue; for within my heart is the song of life: "I'll live, I'll work, I'll do!" No cloud can cast a shadow over courage such as mine; and I'll sing a song as I go along, "I'll live, I'll work, I'll do!" -Mr. & Mrs. N.W. Christiansen, Sing With Me! G-19

AB 539

Hey folks, I am asking for a huge favor...
According to AB 539, the state of California is supposed to provide the state boards required for licensing dental hygienists every March, the next one being in 2007. The congress and other officials have decide to just blow this law off and thus make all the graduating students wait an addition 6 months and pay extra fees to take the boards.

This means that instead of being able to go directly to work and pay off student loans they will NOT be legally available. How would you like to work through school, graduate and then not be able to work just because the government wants you to wait - illegally breaking a law that regulates the tests that will get you to work? How would you begin to pay back those student loans on time?

These students need your help.

If you agree that this is unfair and would like to try to influence these congress would you please send s'mee an e-mail? All you need to do is send an e-mail with your first and last name and address, and I will place it on a letter and send it off for you. THANKS!!! If you want to read the letter before you agree to have your signature placed, write requesting a copy and I will send it to you asap!

If this can happen in CA it can happen anywhere. Let's stop this if we can. THANKS!

may I suggest...

Wow. Every once in a while you read a post that just knocks you down inside. For S'mee today's such post was from Danny Gregory at Everyday Matters entitled: Gran. Go have a look, take in what he has to say and then go do something amazing today.

More fun...

I have to admit that I am not sure if I am a good guy or a bad guy... I am the only person on the planet who doesn't read Harry Potter... but at David B.'s blog he suggests a fun game to find out who you really are. Here are my result. Please tell me is I am o.k. or not in Harry potter World!

You scored as Albus Dumbledore. You are very wise, observant, and analyctical. You have a very "well-organized" mind, which makes you function in a calm and fair manner. Though you get angered easily, its rare of you to ever act our of temper. You are constantly seeing the good in people and are naturally forgiving because of it. You're easy to please and a great person to learn from. Albus Dumbledore 91% Hermione Granger 81% Luna Lovegood 75% Remus Lupin 72% Sirius Black 69% Oliver Wood 56% Harry Potter 56% Neville Longbottom 56% Bellatrix Lestrange 53% Ron Weasley 47% Lord Voldemort 47% Severus Snape 47% Percy Weasley 34% Draco Malfoy 13% Harry Potter Character Combatibility Test created with QuizFarm.com

TAGGED!

Jewel on the Cryptic Lady's Couch Tagged me! THANKS!!! (i love this stuff) Here it GOES!

Four Jobs I Have Had in My Life:
1. Door to door saleman for both Current Cards (first actual money/check getting job -as a 10 year old) and Mason Shoes, which trust me, as a ten year old, this was a tough job, but I actually made some money.
2. Manager for a Sanrio Surprises! Store (Hello Kitty! One of the most fun jobs I have had)
3. not quite like this guy but definitely a Wedding Gopher (Best friend owned a Bridal Consulting/Wedding Planner business and I did everything from decorating cakes to designing sets for theme weddings, catering to floral designs...yikes, one of the hardest most time consuming jobs...ever!)
4. ASLTeaching-Instructional Aide/Main-Stream interpreter for the hearing impaired K-12

Four Movies I Watch Over and Over
1. A&E Pride and Prejudice (at least once a month or we're just not living)
2. The Princess Bride
3. Chocolat and Dark Chocolate!
4. Life is Beautiful (Italian version with English sub-titles)

Four Places I've Lived (understanding that S'mee and siblings moved about 20+ times before I graduated from High School, sometimes two and three times a year. This list could go on forever....)
1. San Diego, CA, and especially this part of it.
2. Hemet, CA (don't know where this is??? ask a gramma or grampa, they can tell you)
3. Carlsbad, CA
4. Oceanside, CA

Four TV shows you love to watch
1. No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain
2. Samantha Brown Great Hotels/Passport to Europe with Samantha Brown
3. Sugar Rush with Warren Brown
4. pretty much anything on Public Television

Four Websites you visit daily
1. My sis Chronicler's two sites:Food and Cooper
2. eye candy
3. more eye candy
4. yet even more...eye candy
---they just inspire and make me happy everyday!

Four of My Favorite Foods
1. Chocolate (you are what you eat)
2. Yum!Steamed Salmon with Creamed Peas
3. Gramma's recipes for: goulash, oatmeal, cocoa with toast, pork chops, chocolate mayo cake, lemon coconut cake, date cake and date cookies
4. a really great juicy Teddy's cheeseburger with a terrific side salad made with euro greens, add onion rings, plus a killer malt (with crunchy tiny bits of actual malt) and I am a happy girl.

Four Places I'd rather be right now (know that all these require the presence of Thor or I would just as soon stay where I am at!)
1. any clean warm beach
2. Hawaii!
3. Alaska!
4. Tahiti!

Four folks to pass this on to:
1. Big Dave B. over at The Whole Note (he is much more formal, "David B.", but frankly, if he were in my circle of "real" life friends, I am sure after about two weeks he'd be "Big Dave".)
2. Holli Jo otherwise know as Mrs. Ronk
3. Chubby Hubby you gotta check this cook out!
4. Susan from Strange Pulse!

Hey thanks for reading! Thanks to those who will (hopefully) participate! I am kind of curious to see what these interesting and completely different folks have to say!

Puzzling Project

Another quick project: puzzles for the Little Man. A while back Chronicler and I were in Utah and she took me to a large craft warehouse and I purchased these wood blocks, hoping to find some time later on and make puzzles for the baby boy. Well, Mommy tells me that the Little Man is doing very well with his potty training (Yes!). So Gramma promised a treat if he did well here at our house. In anticipation of greatness, I pulled out the blocks and began to make my puzzles.

The first set (larger and on the right) were actual photos of him with various characters at Disneyland. I just measured the blocks and then cut the photo to size. Lightly sanding the wood and the back side of the photo paper helped to make the white glue adhere to the wood with a tight seal. Six photos later and a finish coat of more white glue and the large puzzle was done. One problem: all the backgrounds at Disneyland made for a difficult to complete puzzle.

Set two. I used the smaller blocks and just coloured them the primary and secondary colours with permanent markers. I sealed the ink with the white glue and viola!

I still wanted a puzzle with the Little Man as the theme, so I went back to the computer and loaded more photos onto regular paper. This made a huge difference with the clarity of the photos after the glue sealant. (no sanding neccesary either!) I also made sure that in this group of pictures they all had contrasting backgrounds. Success! I have more blocks waiting and think I will try to make some scripture themed puzzles for quiet time during church or family night.

Now all I need to do is hope they come over soon and I will have all kinds of juice, lemonade, and kool-ade to encourage more success!

Here today, gone Temari

O.k. So what exactly can one do while waiting for 6 weeks to just float by? I decided to get out an old craft that I had worked on years ago and see what I could come up with now. The answer is Temari String Spheres!
This is a Japanese art that looks intricate, beautiful and, if you are out of the habit, makes your fingers sore! Essentially you start with a styrofoam ball (this one is 3 inches), wrap an entire bolt of cotton thread (300-375 yards prefered) randomly around the ball, and hide the end of the thread inside the wrapping via a #1 sharps needle.

Using a thin strip of regular paper, you will make a tool for measuring the circumference of the ball and many divisions; placing coloured pins to indicate certain points as being the top, bottom, diameter and points in between on the sphere. The first winding is made of metallic cotton thread; in this case size 5, around the points to make a geometric grid and divide the ball as perfectly as possible.

Now comes the fun part; the winding-sewing of pearl cotton embroidery thread (size 5) to make the geometric designs. This ball had 6 centers, so I could begin sewing or winding the thread at any one of those points. Each ball is different. Not only in particular design, but because it is near to impossible to make a perfect sphere once you keep adding thread to the original ball. The slight imperfection means you must keep adjusting your design so that it looks as perfect as possible. Small "herringbone" stitches keep threads in place and are used in making points, etc. within the design. When the sphere is completed there should be no starting or finishing points visible, nor should any thread ends be visible. This sphere took about three days of bright daylight to complete (or about 12-15 hours total). It's a goofy craft, but I love it; sore fingers and all.

cheeseburgers

Ahhhh... (insert a big happy face gazing off into the sunset).

Cheeseburgers. Now that the surgery is over and food has begun to have an actual taste again I was DELIGHTED to see the post over at Chubby Hubby on cheeseburgers; and which one is best. (scroll down, please) His home made number looks amazing and it made me hungry for one of my favorite burgers...

I bring you In-N-Out. If you live in SOCal this is a pretty good chain burger. Always fresh (never frozen) beef, hand leafed lettuce and fresh cut potatoes for fries, In-N-Out is consistently good. They also have shakes and a "secret menu" that's not so secret, but never printed. Number four in my ranking.

hawaii -05
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Next on my favorites list would be Cheeseburger Waikiki. Number three brings us to inspired culinary genius... 2 chicks from SOCal who bummed money from a rich uncle, moved to paradise and found out they left all the good burgers on the mainland. What to do? Bum some more money and make your own. Now the girls are grown women who own a chain of "Cheeseburger" restaurants in places all over the U.S. (according to the menu, saving cities everywhere from lousy burgers). This burger, besides being in Waikiki, is pretty good for it's juicy yummyness (yes, that is a word). Hot, fresh, juicy, a great combination on the sauce, served with onion rings -which were terrific, although I prefer a thinner slice, and also a fresh piece of pineapple. Yum.

T.G.I. Friday's Gas Lamp District, San Diego, CA. is next on my list. Why oh WHY can not the other TGIFridays get it the same way? Who knows, but this fresh ground sirloin is amazingly good. Hot, juicy, and larger enough for two is very tasty and ranks in second on my burger hit parade. Thor and I actually make sabbaticals down to SD just to eat this beauty a couple times a year. This is a burger where the meat is the true star. It is served sans condiments, lettuce, onion, and tomato only. Admittedly I always ask for a little mayo and ketchup, not usually offered on the burger, but the meat is SO good, who cares if the secret sauce is lacking and you need to make your own?

hawaii -05
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

Here we are at number one in my book: Teddy's Bigger Burgers in Kailua, Oahu. Trust me it is worth the plane fare and the wait. They actually have signs up telling you to just chill and relax, they are hand making your burger and when it is ready.... oh momma! This is my burger. It was so hot, juicy, tasty and I am not sure exactly what was in the sauce, but it was perfection in combination to the ground beef. I needed several napkins, and wanted another burger one as soon as I finished the first, I just couldn't have eaten it! This baby is huge and wonderful and you want to dance barefoot in the basket as you sing the praises of burgerdom! YumboColumbo this is paradise! Served with fries or onion rings - also terrific and a superb shake or malt!

O.k. Now it's your turn. Where is your favorite burger joint? Why is it good and tell us all the gory details! This is your bragging time, let the games begin!

I am woman, hear me snore!

Usortert-a 46-01
Originally uploaded by nampak.

We arrived at the hospital at 6:00 a.m. Saturday morning. After a brief paper trail was constructed we were led around many halls, up an elevator, down a few corridors, around the block and down another hallway and found our place in what I can best describe as a "staging" area for pre op. I was assigned room 6 and received my 'jammies' for the day. I changed and soon a nurse came in to set up my I.V. and make sure everything was correct on the paper work.

After about 40 minutes or so I was led back down several halls and about half way around that block again and found the surgery department, gave Thor a quick kiss and was wheeled into the final waiting room for the O.R. I was placed in a small stall directly across from the nurses station and just as I was positioned into place a very large man dressed in army fatigue scrubs announced, "O.K. Just bring her to me and I'll beat her to death with a stick!" Now I know this comment wasn't made directly towards me, but I couldn't let it just go by unnoticed, so I said, "Hey, wait a minute, isn't that the surgeon's job?" He looked up, surprised that he'd been caught and just replied, "We've got a live one!" He came over to me, introduced himself as "Milt" and again checked all the paper work.

Eventually I was put to sleep and when I woke up I, well, I don't remember too much of anything until late that night.

Thor says I was in surgery a little longer than scheduled. Everything went well, although the doctor opted for plan "B". She told Thor that I 'ralphed' in recovery right after surgery, I don't remember that. I was also in recovery about two hours longer than the doc expected. I just don't react the way I am supposed to to those things.

Up in the room I had several visitors, in laws, my sis, and a couple of the offspring... I don't remember anyone being there. I don't remember anything but being COLD. About 10:30 p.m. a nurse offered me one more shot of morphine which I took due to her urging, but I think I was arguing about it. Earlier Thor said the nurse was wanting to give a hit and he suggested that I just lay low for a while... my breathing was at about 14 and very shallow and frankly, I wasn't complaining, so adding more narcotics to the situation didn't seem prudent. He tried to tell the nurses that I react weird to drugs, so go easy.

Sunday morning I woke up about 5:00 to get up and walk the halls. I went for a few strolls around the wing and felt really weak, but not too much of anything else. Eventually every tube was removed and I was able to take a bird bath and go home. I got home about 12:30 and pretty much just went to bed for a couple of hours. I felt really good considering, but when I got up from the nap I had INCREDIBLE pain in my shoulders. Like I had dislocated them or something. Everyone is suggesting that it may have been pent up stress, but seriously, this was like my arm was out of the socket. A took a motrin and went back to sleep. I woke up just in time to get out to the living room for a visit from #1 and his wife and #3 getting home from church. We had a pretty good visit and I was happy to see them all there. A phone call from the other kids and I was a happy gal. I fell asleep in the chair and woke up the next morning feeling pretty good, except this time the pain had gone from my shoulders to my hips. WEIRD.

It kind of freaks me out a bit, because I was expecting a lot of abdominal pain... a lot from what everyone had told me. Heck, even the doc wanted to make sure I could handle swallowing the Vicadin before I could go home. I haven't taken one of those; I really really hate vicadin. GAG. I talked the nurse into giving me oral motrin instead and waiting to see if I ralphed that up....nope, o.k. So I am sticking with the motrin. Any who, the weird thing is the pain everywhere except my abdomen. Maybe that will come tomorrow.

So here I am on Tuesday, feeling pretty good. Major weakness and easily tired, but everything is oakey dokey, so far today, no meds at all. I think I am still a bit woozey from it all, I am beginning to remember things I think I forgot, but mostly I'm o.k. I wake myself up very thirsty and snoring (oh my). Thor has stayed home since Saturday and spoiled me like the Queen of Sheba; and I have had lots of visitors, well wishes, phone calls, and goodies. I am developing into a lazy girl who watches day time t.v. yikes, this could get ugly. So there you go. Surgery update. That is all.

Thanks to nampak for the cool photo.

UPDATE:

O.k. just another very quick note...

Thor and I had a terrific time on my birthday, in fact the whole day was fabulous! I woke up to a full body massage which almost put me back to sleep again...very relaxing! Then off to breakfast and then to Disneyland with Thor! The best present was him taking the time off so we could be together! (big happy smiling face) I was also very surprised when Thor gave me the most beautiful pearl and diamond ring. I LOVE pearls, they are my favorite and this ring is so pretty!!! I am very spoiled. Back home and out to dinner with some of the kids, 31 flavors ice cream cake and played a very fun game I got from the kids. It was a great day. In addition to those surprises came a phone call from a dear friend from far away, an e-mail from a girl friend and another e-mail from a boy friend in high school who was/is such a nice guy. It was a total surprise to hear from him.

Thanks to all of you who wrote to me and gave happy thoughts and wishes as well, that is totally cool and I am glad to have such nice blog buddies! Thanks also to my sis Chronicler, she was very sweet and did a whole blog just for s'mee (gush)!

Then back to reality.

One of the momma's of the sick babies was also admitted to the hospital... a lump on her kidney, severe pain, high liver enzymes... oh my holy hannah! She is home now, but still in a lot of pain. More troubles with sisters in the ward being mean to each other. And tonight a final evening focused on Wanda. Her sons could not be at her funeral, so we are getting together tonight to make them "scrapbooks" of our memories of Wanda for the few short years we knew her. Everyone is meeting tonight and we'll just write down stories, memories and whatever comes to mind via the Spirit to show her sons that she was loved and will also be missed. Hopefully these new memories of their mom will allow some healing and soften their hearts to the Lord.

Tamale is Friday... count down round to surgery on Saturday! WAHOO! If I don't write for a day or two I will as soon as I can get up and to the chair. Hang in there with me, hopefully things will settle down and I can get back to some fun subjects.

See you all soon!

when's recess?

Chronicler had mentioned that, with death, lessons come.

Since the whole "Z.Z.Top" funeral way back in September, I have been in school. Some things I have learned so far:

1.If you try hard enough you can put the "fun" in a funeral.

2.Just when you think you can't do enough, someone will remind you of that very thing; and others, who will remind you that you continue to let them down on a daily basis.

3.Sometimes you need to just let it go, let it be, walk away.

4.There is more than one way to skin a cat, or in otherwords, there is always a loop hole that can be utilized legally.

5.Women can be mean, snarky, and unforgiving.

6.Men can backup a snarky wife in the most ridiculous of ways, especially when you consider the situation at hand.

7.Some people are just too sweet to notice anything other than the hearts of others and the needs hidden therein.

8.Good intentions can get in the way of justice and "doing what's right and necessary".

9.People are idiots.

10.There are times when the church must step in and times when the church should just say "no".

11."Open mic night" isn't always a good thing when folks are grieving.

12.One should never ask someone to pay for final expenses if they are unwilling to have that same person participate in the service.

13.Taking care of your own is a good thing.

14.Sometimes it's your own fault and suing for damages, pain and suffering will only cause more damage, pain and suffering.

15.You don't have to be old to have lived a full life.

16.You don't have to be young to have died too soon.

17.Accidents happen. Laws of the universe can be broken and results can be devastating. Sometime it is not God's will, but His mercy that is in control of who lives and dies.

18.Taking the high road is much better than proving your point.

19.Saying you are sorry for something someone else did is sometimes the only way to help.

20.Telling someone what needs to be said isn't always easy, but at times quite necessary.

21.Sometimes telling a lie is more merciful than describing truth.

22.Not all traditions are true doctrine. Not all policies are written in stone.

23.Telling your dear friend what a common enemy thinks of them is more hurtful than what the common enemy said in the first place.

24.There is no need to shoot the wounded. There is no need to exalt the esteemed.

25.Music can indeed sooth the savage beast.

26.Sometimes compassion hurts more than neglect.

27.Neglect can be the perspective of a foreign judge.

28.No one is perfect. No one has telepathy, or crystal balls that are accurate. No one can change the mind of another without the willingness of both parties.

29.Grudges weigh more than forgiveness.

30.You can not argue with those of limited mental aptitude.

31.You need to remember that if it looks like a dog, smells like a dog, and acts like a dog, chances are -it's a dog.

32.What is correct and right for me isn't necessarily correct and right for you, and vice versa.

33.Leaders make mistakes. That's o.k.

34.People say things they never would when they are under stress.

35.Some folks can have closure without a viewing.

36.Little children do not always benefit by being involved in family or ward matters, sometimes it is better to ere in hopes of keeping children innocent a day longer.

37.Just because you have a special talent does not mean everyone needs to see it (hear it, experience it, etc.).

38.Even if someone just had a Priesthood Blessing yesterday, if they ask for another one, give it to them. In other words, you can never have too much Priesthood in a home, a hospital room, a car, the grocery store, yada yada yada.

39.You just can't please some people.

40.Some people only need a smile, a hug, a wink to get through the day. Even when they have the greatest burden.

41.Misery sometimes needs company.

42.I am supposed to be learning something from all of this. I will be a better person for all this learning when it is done. There will be a much harder lesson to learn in the future. All of this is for my personal benefit.

43.Hormones create a huge vacuum.

44.I miss my cat. (but please don't get me a new one)

45.Listening to the Spirit can be a good thing, a weird thing, and actually tick other people off because "you got there first"...go figure.

46.I prefer "she/he just passed" to "she/he just passed away." (think: "she just passed...her life's test." past away makes me feel like they just faded and went some vague place at some point.)

47.I have a good and wise husband. I have good and wise friends.

48.Sometimes one can actually look forward to abdominal surgery as a vacation from reality.