trick or treat! (or when squash goes bad)

what happens when pumpkins "pee"
Originally uploaded by S'mee.

I took the grandbaby to the pumpkin patch. The GYNORMOUS pumpkin patch that was an hour away. The ones my own children always wanted to go to but we never did. And yes, all five of them, when they hear or have heard of this story will complain of favoritism.

We got there late, by about 9 days they tell us, and the patch was in rapid decay. Very appropriate for the holiday. Gruesome orbs of rotted squash pretty much everywhere in the field, some covered and being devoured by all manor of pestilence. Gnats added to the boggy-ness of the field and the smell in some areas was less than delightful.

But we kept pursuit in hopes of finding a pumpkin worthy of Cinderella, hidden and forgotten by the previous weekend masses. Far out in the last corner the remaining remnants of produce called to my daughter in law, "tiny babies left alone...help! save us! take us home!" She walked over to a small group of tiny bright orange vegetables the size of a large softball. Cute, darling, and still on the vine. No imperfections and with a twist and well placed stomp she was able to free two of them. She walked back to the wheel barrow and placed them inside just in time to hear her boy child yelp with a panicked and horrorifying scream. We looked over at him, about fifteen feet away, and he was frozen in utter terror. Mommy ran to her boy and picked him up. Gramma was thinking he had gotten himself tangled in vines and couldn't get loose, mommy thought he had been bitten by a snake. Neither was true. Once lifted to mommy's arms, high off the ground he screamed through his cries, "THAT PUN-KIN PEE'D ON ME!" and would not be calmed down for at least five minutes.

Indeed, the pumpkin literally exploded on impact. Seems baby boy accidentally stepped on the tiny pumpkin and it was very ripe (read ROTTEN!). Pumpkin goo, slimy, disgusting and with a stench beyond belief was all over his pant leg, shoe and even his tiny little foot! Mommy wiped off as much as she could before putting him in the wheel barrow, but he would not stop crying and protesting until Mommy made strong efforts at the wash basin to clean it all off.

Once the pumpkin goo was eliminated we were able to concentrate on picking out fresh pumpkins the patch keepers had placed on tables in front of the field. Still, when we got to the car, there was mention of mean pumpkins who pee on little boys.